From the hatch to the cellblock

Michelle Rodriquez has apparently opted for five days of jail time rather than 240 hours of community service as part of her DUI sentence (she pled guilty). It's an interesting choice, which I figure cuts less into her free time outside of shooting Lost. I suppose she can also term it research and start looking for roles where she can play a female convict.

Given that she'd previously pleaded no contest to a 2004 DUI charge in California, I hope she's not researching the role of a reckless drunk. I also hope for her sake that the Hawaii case doesn't constitute a parole violation in California. Otherwise, Ana Lucia's going to have to get kidnapped by the Others for a while.

For what it's worth, fellow Lost actor Cynthia Watros also pled guilty to her DUI (both were pulled over within 15 minutes of each other), and got a prize package of a fine, alcohol assessment, counseling, and a 90 day licence suspension.

Remember: it's OK to hang loose, but perhaps not so literally.

Halfway There

We're now down to six finalists on American Idol, going into tonight's show featuring love songs as taught by Andrea Bocelli.

There's a sentence I never expected to type.

Anyway, as we get closer to ending our annual death march, here's my pick for how the final six will go down:

6. Chris Daughtry - he's probably the contestant with the most potential to jump right into the industry, but he's not really an Idol-type performer, last week's rendition of "What a Wonderful World" notwithstanding. He's more of a Rock Star-type performer, and the show's non-rock orientation is going to be his undoing, as he has not taken the Bo Bice route of singing and appearing more like a typical show contestant.

Daughtry's been in the bottom three a few times, and I don't think he'll hang on.

5. Elliot Yamin - unlike some contestants, his difficult background (medical) hasn't been overly played-up (either by choice or by Fox wanting to build sympathy for others). He sings pretty well, but is lost a little bit in all the extra crap that surrounds this "singing contest." He has kind of a soul edge to his vocals, which I think works well for him, but only to a point.

4. Paris Bennett - Paris Bennett, meet Tamyra Gray and Latoya London. This is about the point in the competition where African-American women with powerful voices get shown the door (Fantasia notwithstanding), regardless of their actual talent. She might get past this, given how she was pretty much anointed as a finalist at her audition, but I'm going to go with history here.

3. Kellie Pickler - proof that pathos, peroxide, and pulchritude can make up where the singing drops off. There's no reason why she should still be in this competition, other than voters who sympathize with her heavily-hyped backstory and those who think she's purty. There's always one contestant who goes much farther than talent suggests, and this time around it's Pickler.

2. Katherine McPhee - she's attractive and can sing, which probably explains some of Simon Cowell's very positive comments the last few weeks. I think he'd much rather have to promote Katherine than...

1. Taylor Hicks - he seems like he's going to win. He's not been in the bottom grouping, and he tends to lead the DialIdol rankings (a web-based autodialer that measures the busy signals for each contestant, assuming that busy=lots of votes). I'd originally wanted him to win, thinking that there was no way he'd win. Now I'm almost hoping he doesn't win, as I don't know if I can stand future performances full of his spasmodic jerking. Be careful what you wish for, I suppose.

Mutilation!

Last week's episode of America's Next Top Model featured a trip to the dentist to get the contestants some teeth whitening. It is likely not a coincidence that this trip took place in the same season where two of the contestants have noticable dental appearances: one "snaggletooth" and one Lettermanesque gap. Both women had the opportunity to "correct" their problem.

Joanie, the contestant with the snaggletooth, took the offer. Ten hours, four extractions, and a bunch of filing later, she was fitted with veneers that give her a "perfect" smile. Danielle, who has the gap, passed on making a change.

Not surprisingly, Tyra and co. approved Joanie's change, and pretty much told Danielle she'd not win if she didn't get her gap fixed. Apparently, there's never been a top model with gapped teeth (I suppose this woman doesn't count).

Also not surprisingly, Danielle makes a return trip to the dentist in this week's episode.

I'm not sure what I dislike more about this turn of events - the Extreme Makeover vibe, or the push to alter physical appearance. The show usually does a decent job on topics like plastic surgery and the like, and I suppose cosmetic dentistry isn't on the same level as a boob job, but I'm still not comfortable.

Lost Weekend

After spending a fair amount of time this weekend catching up on stuff on the DVR, I have to say I was mostly underwhelmed. The lineup:

* The National Geographic Channel special on the Gospel of Judas, the restoration of which was partially funded by the NGS. I can only hope that the article in the latest issue of the magazine is less repetitive and dull than the special, which seemed like 40 minutes of material stuffed into 120 minutes of show. It was very disappointing.

* "Requiem," the episode of The West Wing that seemed like it was going to focus on the passing of Leo McGarry but spent a lot of time on transition issues. The best parts of the episode focused on Leo and on interplay between original cast members, which should have gotten the entire hour. The subplot on the Speaker of the House election could have waited a week.

* Sticking with the executive branch, the return of Commander in Chief was as disappointing as Aaron Barnhart's review indicated. I imagine it's a short list of shows that have a lead win a Golden Globe and still get cancelled in its first year, but there's a real chance that list will grow. Which is too bad; they're wasting a good cast.

* The first two episodes of Thief, a new FX drama starring Andre Braugher. It may still grow on me, but I had a lingering feeling that I was missing something as I watched.

* Desperate Housewives and Grey's Anatomy both had clip shows last night. Why are they still doing this? I can perhaps forgive the latter show - they need to educate folks who've started watching since the Super Bowl - but Housewives? That's just padding.

On the plus side, we did catch up with 24, which is still implausibly delicious, and we got to see Ace Young get the boot on American Idol, which was a long time coming, even if Kellie Pickler was more deserving of the boot after her admitted butchering of "Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered." Oh, and playoff hockey on OLN has been pretty good, especially as their second game "bonus coverage" seems to be taken right from the CBC - logo and all.

If they ever have a Grey's Anatomy prequel

They should cast Paris Bennett from American Idol as a young Dr. Miranda Bailey. Paris would need to work on her voice (too high) and mannerisms (not nearly ass-kicking enough), but the look is there.

I can't say anyone else would be cast, though Seacrest could play someone who falls ill from too much spray-on tan.

Participatory Fooling

If you've got a minute, head over to teevee.org and check out the TeeVeePedia, their TV-flavored spoof of Wikipedia. Not only is it funny, but there are several opportunities to add and edit stuff youself.

Idol Finalists

OK, we finally caught up to the show where they named the 12 finalists. Looking at how they performed, I'd have to say the most baffling decision was Bucky Covington over Geddeon McKinney. Not that either were gangbusters, but at least Geddion sang in a tolerable fashion.

I was also surprised at how overblown Ayla Brown's crying was. Well, maybe not surprised given how most of the rejected contestants are stage kids enough to put on a brave face. And also not surprised given the way media likes to crank things up to generate sales/ratings. Still, the way it was played up I was expecting a breakdown.

Further disappointment came at the much-reviled Brittenum twins being in the audience. Hope they weren't supposed to be on house arrest. Or maybe I do; a parole violation should keep them from making later "surprise" appearances.

I do know who the first two cuts are (obviously, given previous posts on Kevin Covais), and I'm still waiting for the first "surprise" cut. I'm hoping for Ace Young, as I really didn't need a cleaned-up version of Constantine Maroulis. Heck, I don't even need the original one.

The Internet Just Doesn't Work

So after getting all sorts of national attention, you'd think that the power of VotefortheWorst.com would be at its height, right?

Apparently not, as Kevin Covais was eliminated last night. Let the conspiracy theories begin.

Bat the Brat

Good: Bravo's next season of Celebrity Poker Showdown will be at Harrah's in New Orleans, with the $1 million pot going to hurricane-related charities.

Bad: Phil Hellmuth replaces Phil Gordon as the poker expert. I don't think I could listen to his whiny ass for two hours. Sorry, Bravo. Nice work keeping Foley on, though. Call me when you hit the trifecta and bring in Phil Ivey as co-host.

Democracy Just Doesn't Work

For anyone annoyed by the packaged hypefest that is American Idol, be sure to check out VotefortheWorst.com, a Web site dedicated to furthering the fortunes of the finalist adjudged the worst of the group. For this season, they've tabbed Kevin Covais, whose resemblance to the title character of Chicken Little and willingness to go along with the joke nabbed him the "honor."

The site claims "victories" for the finals runs of Johnathan Stevens and Jasmine Trias in season 3 and Janay Castine and Scott Savol from last season. Hard to say how much impact they really had, as the first two had a "cute" factor helping them (Johnathan with the moms, Jasmine with the teenaged boys), and Savol wasn't that bad of a singer (with him, it was everything else). But with the publicity the site's gotten of late, I would not be surprised if they get more help with pushing Covais deep into the finals.

The site seems primed to replace Covais with Kellie Pickler if he fails, which seems like a cheat given how much the show has pushed her as a finalist. I would suggest Bucky Covington, who doesn't have the Idol "look" (i.e. he looks like an average person) and is not among the best singers.

There should be some sort of Internet-led vote hall of fame for Covais, Kemal Ataturk (who won Time's Person of the Millenium on-line vote) and Hank the Angry Drunken Dwarf (an Internet vote-in for People magazine's list of the most beautiful people.

I'll Tell You What

I'm pretty happy to read that Fox has ordered more King of the Hill for next season. As much of an afterthought as it appears to be on the Fox schedule, it's at least the equal of The Simpsons, which will now spend two more seasons churning out episodes that will make second-rate entries appear brilliant.

Unexpected Catch Phrase Creep

The school I work at held a career fair yesterday. The heading on the flying advertising the event?

"Suit up!"

For all the success How I Met Your Mother has had this season, I wasn't expecting that. I figured the dating lemon law that Barney came up with would make the jump to real life first.

Speaking of Barney, there was a recent episode that gave more of his back-story, and now I'm confused. I was under the impression that Ted and Barney knew each other in college, but this episode mentioned how Barney used to be some hippie-type until his girlfriend left him for a guy who inspired Barney's current persona. Ted didn't seem to know Barney was like this, or at least the episode didn't explain that he did. This strikes me as more of a continuity problem than the Belle & Sebastian thing, but given how closely I follow the show (i.e. not that close) I may be mistaken as to how Ted and Barney originally met.

Whammied

I don't have much to say about Peter Tomarken's death in a plane crash yesterday. Bad enough to have it happen, worse that it was a volunteer medical flight (not exactly being how you'd want to get paid back for charity).

If you've not seen Big Bucks, the special about the Press Your Luck "scandal" involving Michael Larson's memorization-abetted windfall, I'd suggest checking the GSN listings. It's sure to be re-aired in the coming days, and is pretty interesting.

Fox: All Idol All the Time

OK, that's a bit of an exaggeration; I think there are still a couple of days where American Idol isn't on Fox's schedule. For now.

Long-time readers of the main blog know I've had an Idol thing from the start, and have recapped episodes in reasonable detail (which explains why I have so few long-time readers). That's waned over the last couple of seasons, and continues to now, given how the show has become predictable in its approach and how its "stars" haven't quite lit up the music world as predicted, Kelly Clarkson notwithstanding.

(NOTE: I know Carrie Underwood is doing pretty well, but mostly within the country genre. If she ever crosses over to pop success, we'll talk.)

This season kicked off with seven audition stops, which were good for about a month of shows that increasingly cover the bad and ugly rather than the good. For next season, I expect nine audition stops that'll provide show material through the end of February.

Then it was "Hollywood" week (though they seem to be closer to Hollywood now than the season they spent the week in what looked like a Century City warehouse), where they pared 175 contestants to 24. There's been some inflation in the number of semi-finalists, too. I figure next year it'll be 28, taking the semifinals through April.

I did watch a reasonable amount of the shows about Hollywood week, and was aghast at the amount of screen time given to Derrell and Terrell Brittenum, a set of twins who, unlike every other set of twins to audition, were sent through to the next round together. It doesn't help that they are incredibly obnoxious drama queens whose attitude far outpaces their talent. The saving grace, as you may have heard, is that they were both picked up for a variety of felonies of the fraud and identity theft varieties.

You can look for them in the upcoming CourtTV series Prison Idol.

Anyway, from watching the shows for Hollywood week this year it seems like there was less everything - less time seeing people sing, less time showing the conflicts when contestants were preparing for group singings, etc. Not sure if that's a factor of the number of contestants, the filler material of the contestants playing tourist, or commercials. Probably all three.

But now we're down to 16, as 8 semifinalists have been cut. No real surprises yet, other than one contestant's Maxim photos coming too late to save her from a brutal first week of competition. People to look out for:

* Kellie Pickler, who is a combination of Carrie Underwood (looks) and Fantasia Barrino (home state and tragic back-story). The show spent a lot of time hammering away at her background, so she's likely a lock for the finals.

* Taylor Hicks, who stands out not only for his head of prematurely greying hair but for being Ray Charles reincarnated, down to the body sway. He's my favorite because he's so incongruous.

* Paris Bennett, who may be a little too comfortable given that her grandmother is some well-known gospel singer (OK, not well-known to me, but Randy Jackson freaked out a bit in a fanboy way when he saw the grandmother at the original audition). Paris can at least sing.

* Ace Young, who I learned today is dating Essence Atkins, who I'd never heard of, a fact easily explained by her being a lead on the UPN sitcom Half & Half. He's apparently been on the show and even sang a little. He's like Constantine from last year, but with better grooming and less leering (and, thankfully, less eye makeup).

* And, finally, Ayla Brown, who I've saved for the end given that she's a local, from Wrentham (best known, probably, for its outlet mall). In many ways she's the anti-Pickler, both in looks (Brown has, fittingly, darker hair and skin tone) and background - she went to private school and landed a basketball scholarship to Boston College. On top of that, her mom is a local TV news reporter and anchor, while her dad is a state senator and likely lieutenant governor candidate.

(This led to a funny moment during the show where they reduced the field to 24, where they showed Seacrest asking Brown's father a question, but cut his response with an abrupt edit, apparently in fear of having to give other candidates equal time.)

"Conventional wisdom" (which applies to this show how?) suggests she won't win, but the judges seem to be warming to her. I'm still on the fence, given that her dad's a Republican and she's joining up with that school in Newton.

So there you go. A post almost as long and tedious as an episode of the show.

OlympicsWatch: The Ads

OK, I stopped doing the day by day listings because they wound up restating a large portion of the day's events rather than focus on one or two. That and I got bored with it. Sorry.

But sticking with the Olympics, watching has allowed me to see some of the top-rated Super Bowl ads, as companies have been getting some extra life out of them. Having now seen the Bud Light "magic fridge" ad, it appears that the ads for Super Bowl XL were as forgettable as the game itself. I really didn't miss anything by skipping most of the first half.

As for new ads, the bulk of them are pretty forgettable, too. They mostly play off of the usual Olympic themes of striving for goals and success, and whether they be inspiring or "humorous," there's not much about any of them that gets me going. There are two that bear special mention, though:

1. The Chevrolet ad where a guy, the middle man of three spelling out "USA," gets frozen in a pond. Now, the decision to skip medical treatment in lieu of Weekend at Bernie's style hijinx is one thing. But towards the end of the ad, someone makes a sno-cone out of scrapings from the frozen guy's torso.

I didn't know Chevy was pro-cannibalism.

2. There's a DHL ad with Dan Jansen that shows him falling a lot as a backdrop for their "Olympic Spirit" award. Towards the end of the ad, Jansen is shown standing at the door to his home, watching a DHL delivery guy almost slip, and then take a header trying to walk up his snow and ice-covered drive. Jansen's response? "I know what that feels like."

Yes you do, Dan. So why don't you cart your ass out to the garage and break out the snowblower or some sand or something, rather than stand there like a jackass while some guy fractures his coccyx trying to bring you a package.

OlympicsWatch, Day 8

Top event for me is the US-Sweden semifinal in ice hockey. It'll be shown live tomorrow morning, looks to be around 11 am EST. There'll be curling at various times throughout the day, US women versus Russia earlier in the morning, men later in the day.

The sliding sports also come to the fore as we get two man bobsled and skeleton in the afternoon and in prime time. Also in prime time Lindsey Jacobellis tries to break the streak of hyped Americans going without medals when she competes in this snowboard cross that I've never heard of until now.

Oh, and there'll be ice dancing, too. Woo hoo.

Bored-room

Among the announcement of the contestants for the upcoming "season" of The Apprentice was the nugget that Carolyn and George, who have been assisting Trump in selecting his new hireling, will be stepping out for some number of episodes this season for two new helpers - Donald Trump, Jr. and his sister Ivanka.

This is the sort of idea that, if a team on the show tried it, would land them in the boardroom. Though I can at least see why Junior is in, he being the likely heir to Trump's yooge holdings. As for Ivanka... well, let's just say I hope to be surprised.

Now let's just hope they spice things up this season by having at least one challenge that isn't related to marketing. Wouldn't that be nice?

When Judge Shows Invade Prime Time

One of the recurring themes of any judge show, from Judy to Mathis, is that the folks who appear in those fora tend not to display the greatest judgement. And while I like to chuckle at the legion of people who get cell phones under their own name for deadbeats, it worries me a bit when that lack of judgement seeps into prime time programming.

A couple examples have cropped up of late in ABC's programming. First, take the recent episode of Desperate Housewives where Bree, discovering that the man who was arrested for breaking into the Solis home (and who was the proximate cause of Gabrielle's miscarriage) and who is probably wanted after escaping from that hospital, chooses to call her friends rather than the cops. Huh?

Meanwhile, over on Lost, various castaways decide to place enough trust in Sawyer - the well known hoarder and con-man - that he eventually gets control over the group's firearms. Well done, idiots! You've got a guy who you can't trust as far as you can throw, but by all means let him manipulate you into doing his bidding. I suppose we can forgive Charlie - he's pissed at Locke and not that smart to begin with - but Locke and Kate?

I know, prime time TV programs more or less require this sort of poor decision-making to squeeze out episodes and further plot. But perhaps they could find a way to get to the same end without these decisions that seem out of character?

OlympicsWatch, Day 7

The daytime program has more live hockey (men) and curling (both). The prime time coverage is sure to focus on Yevgeny Plushenko's quest for gold in the men's figure skating long program. Failing that, he could probably get a job as a backup singer for The Darkness. Seriously, what's with his hair?

My main interest in prime time, though, will be speed skating's team pursuit. It seems like just the right amount of chaos for a sport involving ice and bladed footwear (don't get me wrong, I like short track, it just gets a little irritating with all the judge involvement).

Going back to today's programming, I was a little surprised during coverage of the Sweden-Kazahkstan game to hear multiple references to the Soviet Union. In the present tense. I know people don't always keep up with the news, but this seems negligent in the extreme.

OlympicsWatch, Day 6

Men's ice hockey kicks off on Wednesday, with 12 hours of live programming starting at 5 am EST. None of the games are between teams considered medal contenders. The most interesting match-up is probably the Czech Republic versus Germany, what with payback for the taking of the Sudetenland and all.

The US will play Latvia in a game that airs in the afternoon - but not live (at least the NBC schedule doesn't list it as such).

There's more curling (US women versus Denmark at 8 am, US men versus Italy at 5 pm).

Prime time coverage should focus on the women's downhill and the luge team of Mark Grimmette and Brian Martin, who are looking to medal in their third straight Games in doubles luge. But we'll probably get a heaping helping of Apollo Anton Ohno, whose skating in a couple of events. Jeremy Bloom competes in moguls (meaning we'll hear his skiing versus football story again), too.