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Friday, July 17, 2009
  New on TV: The Great American Road Trip

At the start of this NBC summer reality show, the host makes an important point when he tells the competing families that this is not a race. And given the nature of the show - seven families going from Chicago to LA in RVs while competing in challenges along the way - it was hard not to think (with reference to a similar CBS show) that is is also not amazing.

That being said, the show isn't awful in any obvious way. The host, Reno Collier (a comedian best known as Larry the Cable Guy's opening act), is game if not particularly dynamic. The families, as you'd expect, come from the various elements of our great melting pot/salad bowl. Just with more "energy." And in the case of the family from Texas, a set of gigantic fake knockers.

But I digress.

The point of the show is that the families drive their RVs to a location with some historic impact (such as Lincoln's home in Springfield, Illinois) and compete in a task. The winner gets a prize, while the bottom three families participate in another challenge, with the loser there going home. In the first episode, the yuppies from Westport, Connecticut, who saw their education as their greatest asset, lost in large part because they forgot that the shortest distance between to points is a straight line. I'm sure that'll keep them up nights in their McMansion.

And, of course, there's drama along the way, but as it's a family show the drama is more light comedy than something from Chekov. The Alabama housewife and Yonkers dad have a desperate moment while trying to come to grips with the uses for "youse" and "y'all." The Yonkers mom accuses the downstate Illinois family of cheating. The Long Island daughter throws a tantrum over gummy worms. Woo.

So while it's not particularly worth seeking out, it's not the worst a network could do for a summer series (ABC's The Scholar, for example). Just don't expect anything surprising.

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Tuesday, June 09, 2009
  2009-10 Season; Friday

There are a couple of notable changes on this second-least watched night of TV.

ABC - They probably have the biggest one, as Ugly Betty moves over from Thursday to anchor a night stuck between Supernanny and 20/20. There's two schools of thought on the move. The first is that Betty is being banished to Friday due to ratings that have been sagging over time and are now more appropriate to Friday nights. The other, as espoused by ABC Entertainment president Steve McPherson, is that they can use Thursday and the Grey's Anatomy/Private Practice pairing to help Flash Forward debut strong and build an audience.

I tend to fall in the former camp. Betty has seen its ratings diminish, and a declining show is least likely to survive on ultra-competitive Thursday nights. If it manages to bring its current fan base to Friday, the show would be a qualified hit. I don't know if Betty will boost the evening as a whole - I don't expect the intersection of Betty and 20/20 viewerships to be that great - but it has to be an improvement over Wife Swap, doesn't it?

CBS - Will continue to dominate Fridays thanks to The Ghost Whisperer and Numbers, which are now flanking Medium, picked up from NBC's scrap pile. Medium is kind of in a similar position to Ugly Betty in regards to bringing fans over (with the added difficulty of a new network to boot), but where it's going to a well-established night of programming it'll have more of a cushion, I'd think. It should also be less risky than bringing in a new show.

Fox - Opens the night with Brothers, a sitcom about a former NFL player who moves home to help his brother, whose restaurant is struggling, but then may wind up home for good if his mom has her way. What makes this interesting is that the show starts actual former NFL player Michael Strahan, who has plenty of charisma but hasn't acted much outside of Subway commercials. The cast includes Darryl "Chill" Mitchell, CCH Pounder and Carl Weathers, which should help to even things out if Strahan is a little uneven.

Brothers is paired with Til Death, which was off the air for most of this past season. It'll return in the summer on Sundays before moving to Fridays in the fall.

Perhaps the biggest surprise from Fox was the return of Dollhouse, Joss Whedon's drama about sexy secret agents who have their memories erased after each job. There wasn't much hope for the show when it premiered, but apparently Fox still feels bad about axing Firefly and is making amends here. If nothing else, it's the perfect capper to a strange night of TV.

NBC - If you were wondering if anyone actually tries to win the 49 and over demographic, this night may be your proof. It opens with Law & Order, now in its 20th season of ripping stories from the headlines. It's followed by Southland, the LA cop drama that was a surprise pick-up. It ends with Leno. If any night is AARP-approved, it's this one.

The CW - Limps into Friday with Smallville - it's still on! - and reruns of America's Next Top Model. For this they cancelled Everybody Hates Chris. It's official: The CW is the suckiest bunch of sucks to ever suck.

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Thursday, May 28, 2009
  2009-10 Season: Thursday

Easily the night with the best programming across the board.

ABC - They've decided to break up their female-friendly night of programming by moving Ugly Betty and replacing it with Flash Forward. This high-concept drama takes place in the aftermath of every person in the world blacking out for two minutes and 17 seconds, during which time they get a glimpse of their future.

Does this sound like something that would go with relationship dramas? Not particularly, which makes me worry for this intriguing show. Shorts ads for it did run during Lost this past season, and it seems like those two shows would air together. And perhaps they will - assuming Flash Forward survives.


CBS - Returns with Survivor and CSI, and moves The Mentalist over to create a very strong night, likely their strongest of the week.

Fox - Pairs Bones with Fringe, which doesn't seem like an obvious paring but doesn't sound disastrous. There's also an interesting comparison to ABC, given that these shows have female leads but don't center around their loves lives. It'll be interesting to see if Bones - which is popular but not exactly a ratings-grabber - can boost Fringe, which fared OK in its inaugural season.

The CW - Opens the evening with The Vampire Diaries, which seeks to make hay off the Twilight craze, which seems like smart move but I don't know if the die-hards are going to cotton to a rip-off. It's paired with Supernatural, which makes sense. This could wind up being a decent night for the former Frog.

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Wednesday, May 27, 2009
  2009-10 Season: Wednesday

Remember when I said Tuesday was the night you could skip out and not miss anything on TV? Well, Wednesday isn't much better.

ABC - Throws an entire night of new shows at us, five of their total of eight new shows for the season. Four are sitcoms:

ABC apparently showed the entire pilot of The Modern Family during its upfront, and at least one critic (Aaron Barnhart of TV Barn and the Kansas City Star) reported that it was pretty well-recieved. That's a good thing, as based on ABC's press releases they all sound like they were generated by the Sitcom9000.

The network ends the night with Eastwick, a drama based on the movie The Witches of Eastwick. Sadly, this is not the only show on Wednesday based on a 20+ year old movie.

Really, a pretty thin night for ABC, but it's probably enough to keep them in third place until they cancel some stuff and bring back Lost.

CBS - Will battle for first place for the night, starting with The New Adventures of Old Christine and Gary Unmarried, moving to Criminal Minds at 9 and finishing with CSI: New York. Solid night all the way around.

Fox - Opens with results shows (So You Think You Can Dance or American Idol) followed by one of two new shows. The first is Glee, the high-school dramedy that aired its pilot earlier this month to good reviews. The oddity is the other show, Human Target, which stars Mark Valley as a man whose job is to get close to potential targets of violence so he can become the target in order to save lives. I don't quite understand how this fits in with a night otherwise dedicated to singing and dancing.

NBC - Starts the night with the other show based on an ancient movie, Parenthood. This is the second go-round in trying to make this into a TV series, and I don't know why it will do any better now. It will move aside in the spring for Mercy, a medical show that's Grey's Anatomy from a nurse's perspective. Had NBC been thinking they'd have combined this with Trauma so they only had one Grey's ripoff on the schedule. That or they'd have scheduled them for the same night and time so that one runs into the other. Viewers may not even notice that they are different shows.

Law & Order: Criminal Intent follows at 9 and Leno wraps things at 10.

The CW - Gives us the next cycle of America's Next Top Model, and follows the unscripted show about model with a scripted one, The Beautiful Life. I wouldn't expect much from it, except that the cast has something for everyone - Elle Macpherson, The OC's Mischa Barton and High School Musical's Corbin Bleu are all in the ensemble. So this may actually work, or at least work as well as anything on The CW does.

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Tuesday, May 26, 2009
  2009-10 Season: Tuesday

After looking at the tentative schedule, if you were looking for a night to do errands or otherwise not be in front of your TV, this might be the night.

ABC - Wraps the results show for Dancing With the Stars around two new shows. The early one, Shark Tank, is an Americanized version of BBC America's Dragon's Den, as entrepraneurs present their ideas to a panel of five self-made millionaires in the hopes that they'll provide seed capital. Sounds find in concept, and hopefully the producers here will remember how NBC failed to turn Last Restaurant Standing into a success with Chopping Block.

On the other end is The Forgotten, which sees a group of amateur sleuths work to put names to unidentified murder victims, with the hope that an ID will help lead to an arrest. Reiko Ayelsworth, best known for playing Michelle Dessler on 24, is part of the cast. This may be enough of a twist on the police procedural to work, and having Jerry Bruckheimer involved should help, too.

In the spring, the first two hours will change to a show to be named later (I'm hoping it's the V remake, which sounds atrocious on principle) and a sitcom block of Scrubs and Better Off Ted. Both are somewhat surprising additions to the schedule. Scrubs got a proper send-off, and will now apparently toil on without Zach Braff. The surprise for me with Better Off Ted returning is that ABC managed to keep the right midseason sitcom, as they could have brought back In the Motherhood.

To my eyes, ABC has the best line-up for the night, which is depressing as I really don't feel compelled to watch any of these shows.

CBS - Looks to replicate the success of spinning off CSI into different locations by giving us NCIS: Los Angeles in the 9 pm slot, airing after the original NCIS. I don't know if that's such a great thing, though I suppose it's a way to build an audience with current NCIS viewers who may potentially follow the show to another night later in the season. The new show stars Chris O'Donnell and LL Cool J, though once I hear the name "Chris O'Donnell" I start to look for the remote. I'd be surprised if this brings in enough viewers to make the cancellation of The Unit look like a smart move, though I may be underestimating the loyalty of the average NCIS viewer.

The 10 pm spot is filled by The Good Wife, the latest show to cast Juliana Marguiles as a lawyer. In this show, though, her character returns to practice more than decade after leaving to be a full-time mom, forced to pick things up again after a public sex and corruption scandal lands her husband in jail. The cast looks solid, as it includes Chris Noth, Josh Charles and Christine Baranski. If it's done well, this would be the best pick for the 10 pm slot for the night.

Fox - Will bank on reality for the night, with So You Think You Can Dance? in the fall and American Idol in the spring. I can't imagine they'll go a full two hours for Dance each week, especially with an hour-long results show the next night. Then again, Fox does like to milk hours with reality performance programming, so I'm sure they'll find a way to fill the time.

In the spring, AI will share the night with Past Life, about a pair of "detectives" who determine if your current problems are being caused by who you were in a past life. Um, no.

NBC - Dedicates pretty much their entire non-Leno programming in the evening to The Biggest Loser. In the spring, they'll cut the show to 90 minutes and add 100 Questions, the sitcom about the woman who has a wacky romantic anecdone for each of the 100 questions on a dating service survey. I guess it fits with the expected Loser demographic, but I can't help but have visions of quick-cancelled shows like The Ex-List and Emily's Reasons Why Not floating in my head. They'd have been better off snagging Samantha Who? off of ABC's discard pile.

The night ends with Leno at 10. Get used to that.

The CW - Brings back 90210 and adds to it a new version of Melrose Place. Laura Leighton and Thomas Calabro return from the original, and Ashlee Simpson appears as one of the young, new tenants. If only the network did three hours of programming a night, we'd be guaranteed a revival of Models, Inc. next season. Oh, to dream...

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Monday, May 25, 2009
  2009-10 Season: Monday

Monday offers up our first taste of split-season goodness, as three of the five networks have separate schedules for fall 2009 and spring 2010.

ABC - Will stick to the reality that's been successful on Monday, with a new installment of Dancing With the Stars in 2009 and The Bachelor in 2010. Backstopping both at 10 pm is Castle, the Bones meets Murder, She Wrote drama that one assumes will follow in the footsteps of mid-season premiers like Eli Stone and October Road and not make it past next season.

CBS - Keeps How I Met Your Mother, Two and a Half Men and The Big Bang Theory and puts Accidentally on Purpose in the 8:30 slot. The show stars Jenna Elfman as a woman who gets pregnant after a one-night stand and decides to keep both the baby and the father, a younger guy whose immaturity makes Elfman's character think she has two children to raise. There are various friends and family members who offer her help and advice, as well as an ex-boyfriend (played by Grant Show) to keep things interesting. Sounds OK (though I assume it depends on how much you like Jenna Elfman), and it should last the season at least protected by the other sitcoms.


CSI: Miami rounds out the evening at 10.

Fox - Splits the season, with House in the 8 pm hour, with the 9 pm hour split between Lie to Me in the fall and 24 in the spring. Seems like a solid night for Fox, assuming they can get Lie to Me to build a bit.

NBC - The Peacock opens the season with Heroes at 8 and first-responder drama Trauma at 9. I don't quite think these shows go together all that well, but if Heroes couldn't mesh with the now-departed Medium I suppose it may not make that much difference.

In 2010, we start Mondays with Chuck, a surprise renewal given that the show wasn't mentioned during NBC's "infront" presentation earlier in the month. It pairs with Day One, the show about life after a massive infrastructure failure. I don't know if these shows go together all that well either. With both Heroes and Chuck firmly on the fence as far as ratings go, there's a real chance that all four could get axed at the end of the season if things don't go well.

And then there's the grand Jay Leno experiment, which sees him on at 10 pm every weeknight. I don't know if this is much of a risk, as Leno has a built-in fan base and (I assume) the show has production costs similar to reality programming, making it easier to turn a profit. It may also bring back fans who would watch The Tonight Show if it were on earlier. Probably not the most coveted viewers, but any viewers are welcome in this economy. Still, I'd be very surprised if it won the time slot on Mondays.

The CW - Gives us Gossip Girl and One Tree Hill. The former should keep doing well with its expected target audience, while One Tree Hill seems a little vulnerable with the loss of a couple of its stars. Still, this is probably their strongest night.

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Saturday, May 23, 2009
  2009-10 Season: Sunday

OK, I missed the upfront presentations this week (as the four of you who still read this know, the wife and I had a baby last week, and as expected all of our schedules are out of whack). Instead, I'm going to look night by night at next season's schedule and mock the networks that way. All of this is based on the schedule grid posted over at The Futon Critic. We start with Sunday.

ABC - stands pat with a lineup of America's Funniest Home Videos, Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, Desperate Housewives and Brothers & Sisters.

CBS - Returns 60 Minutes, The Amazing Race and Cold Case. They add in Three Rivers, a medical drama focused on an organ transplant team. There's a fair amount of Grey's Anatomy in this one, from the young female resident trying to live up to a legendary parent to the womanizing surgeon. It's going to air opposite Desperate Housewives, which seems like a bad idea.

NBC - has football for the first half of the season, and for the second half goes reality with Dateline NBC, yet another edition of The Apprentice, and something called The Marriage Ref, which sees celebs provide advice and guidance on marriage for non-famous couples. Because if there's any group of people known for rock-solid marriages, it's celebrities. Really, I have no idea why anyone would tune in to NBC once Sunday Night Football wraps for the year. And on that note, I would like to request a new version of the theme song. I'm getting a little sick of Faith Hill.

Fox - Finally gives us The Cleveland Show, the long-awaited spin-off of The Family Guy that features Cleveland Brown moving back to his hometown in Virginia to reuinite with his high school sweetheart. It can't be worse than American Dad, can it?

In 2010 Fox will add the live-action Sons of Tucson, the story of three boys who hire some guy they met at a sporting goods store to pose as their dad because their actual dad has gone to prison. I find this oddly intriguing, even though it doesn't really entice me to watch.

The CW- gave Sunday nights back to their affiliates, which is probably for the best as they've never been able to program the night correctly. Though I wouldn't have objected to them keeping the night in order to save Everybody Hates Chris. But more on that later.

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Charting a course through the vast wasteland.

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