More Hatin' on the Stupid Dance Show

Tonight's results show was taped completely separately from the new competition episode, which makes for some serious cognative dissonance when, in a matter of seconds, the dancers have new clothes, hairstyles, and partners. The laborious pace isn't helping, either. Nor is the continuous crying when someone gets booted off. I expect self-immolation to follow an elimination sometime in the next two to three weeks.

Of course, all of this was trumped when I learned that one of the contestants on the T(Thisspaceforrent)C-hosted UPN show R U the Girl is named O'so Krispie. Yikes.

So You Think You Can Fill Time?

While I've not been watching the episode of So You Think You Can Dance? from last week, the wife's viewing has been in the background as I've been doing things. From what I've heard, it sounds like that episode, a full 2 hours, had about 12 minutes of dancing (six couples and six individuals in a "dance-off" to stay on the show) wedged into vacuous judge comments, pointless interviews, and the hypersensitive shrieks of the audience every time a judge said something that could possibly be interpreted as negative. Or positive, really.

And let's not forget the ads, which come with regularity. This includes two breaks during the dance-off, when you think you could build some energy by having each dancer come out one after another in a sort of "can you top this?" performance. Instead, each dancer is separated by a pointless interview and pimping of the phone number to keep them on the show. Which just drags things down even more.

If a show sounds as bad as this, I can't hold out too much hope for the watching.

Not the Finest Kind

As a M*A*S*H fan, I generally appreciate the four episodes that the Hallmark Channel airs each night (though I'd appreciate them more if they weren't on from 11 pm to 1 am). Tonight, though, would be the perfect line-up for someone trying to demonstrate the lack of quality in the later seasons:

"Sons and Bowlers," which features a 4077th versus Marines bowling tournament. The subplot, where learn a lot about the relationships that Hawkeye and Charles have with their respective fathers, keeps this from being a complete stinker.

"Picture This," where Potter's attempt to paint the gang are disrupted by a feud between Hawkeye and BJ. Not a horrible episode, just predictable in how it turns out.

"That Darn Kid," where a goat eats the company payroll. I don't think I have to elaborate.

"The UN, the Night and the Music," where a visit by a UN group turns the camp upside-down. About the only good part of this episode is Charles trying to out-snob the British member of the delegation.

While none of these is a bottom five stinker (OK, the goat eating the payroll is in the running), these four demonstrate three things that make the later episodes so difficult at times:

1. An increasing need to use melodrama or teach a lesson.

2. A tired writing staff, evident where the plots become obvious and the ideas not so great.

3. Over-reliance on formerly minor characters. I'm thinking mostly of Klinger here, as he was great in small doses, but more likely to be used in an over-the-top fashion when he became a main character. Oddly, I think they could have done more with Father Mulcahey in this regard, but kept his story lines pretty limited.

I'm Tube Boob... later!

So just when you thought that "Seacrest... out!" was perhaps the stupidest sign-off line in TV, leave it to its summer cousin to do it one better.

As I was waiting to turn the TV over so I could tape Lost, I caught the last minute or so of So You Think You Can Dance? (taping for the wife to watch in my absence). As the show ended, its host signed off with "I'm Lauren Sanchez... see ya!"

Wow. I wonder if she wrote that all by herself. Probably.

More S, Less E?

There's talk that Mark Shapiro, the programming head of ESPN, may be leaving to take a job with Dan Snyder and the Washington Redskins. Shapiro is the driving force behind the focus on the 'E' in ESPN: entertainment. Those movies and series you've seen (or not, given some of the ratings), and the increase in talking-head shows. You can thank or blame Shapiro as you wish.

While the move towards original programming did give us the sublime Pardon the Interruption, it also gave us such fare as Cold Pizza, Around the Horn (which could almost be watchable if they sent Woody Paige off Fox with Max Kellerman), and the Steven A. Smith shoutfest Quite Frankly. And let us not forget Playmakers and Tilt, two original series that didn't get past season one (thanks to quality issues and, in the case of the former, bowing to pressure from the NFL, who didn't like the way pro football players were being portrayed).

As has been noted elsewhere, Shapiro's leadership has charted ESPN on the same course that MTV took a while back, where the network becomes more about a brand and a culture than about what it's supposed to be showing if you take the network name at face value.

Given that I actually like to watch sports, Shapiro's departure would be a good thing. This assumes that the new programming head would actually steer the network back towards coverage of sporting events. One can hope.

TV You Have to Develop a Taste For

The new FX show Starved will not be for everyone. Heck, I don't even know if it's for me.

I caught the second episode, and while this means I've missed out on the first episode's character building and exposition, it wasn't too hard to figure things out. There seem to be four people with eating disorders whose lives we get to follow both in and out of treatment sessions.

The second episode focuses mostly on the main character's relationship with his colonic irrigation therapist, with unfortunate (though visually entertaining in a frat boy-joke kind of way) results. We also got to see his friends deal with a domination fantasy, continued bulimia, and a combo of anorexia survival, family issues, and alcohol.

We're not exactly dealing with escapist fantasy here. But if you think you find entertainment in the dark humor coming from some very screwed up lives, Starved may work for you.

Off Air

It's been a pretty fallow period for TV watching, as many of the shows I started the summer with are done, and I've not been able to catch up with new shows, almost all of them on FX. I have several episodes of Over There on tape and need to watch them, while I missed the premiere of Starved and wonder if I'l try to squeeze it in. It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia looks mildly interesting, but if I can't bother for Starved I don't think I'll be keeping up with the show that follows it.

I was a little mystified by last week's House, given the sudden appearance of Chi McBride's character and the talk between House and Cameron about feelings. I understand that you have to skip episodes over the summer given the shorter time span (which makes me wonder what I'll miss on Lost), but this seems a little abrupt.

That's all for now, or at least until I get a little me time with the VCR.