Three Up, Three Down: The Killing, "The Jungle"

Another season of rain and murder!

Three Up

1. Steven Holder. It's been a year since the Larsen case wrapped, and in that time Holder's gone 7 for 7 with murder cases. His personal life seems to be back in order, too. So when his instincts tell him that the dead teenaged prostitute who just cropped up needs further investigation, he keeps with the case even after his new partner fobs it off on another similarly useless cop. Holder makes a connection to a case Linden mentioned during the Larsen case (the one with the boy who was locked in a closet with the victim - his mother - for a week). He visits Linden to see if there's something to this, but she says that killer is in prison, so no connection. It'll be interesting to see how much this new case (or cases) screws up the progress Holder's made over the last year.

2. Sarah Linden. Speaking of progress, Linden is now working for whatever branch of state government runs the ferries between the mainland and the Puget Sound islands. She now lives on one of them, apparently with a co-worker/boyfriend. She also seems to have her personal life back in order, running every day and keeping busy with a good, if low paying, job. But under that surface the old Linden still lurks, as we see when she retrieves the old case file that Holder asks for after he's gone, and when her toast at Regi's wedding becomes less about the couple and more about being true to herself. Her borderline, not always in control self. It's particularly Linden-like when, after discovering a sick cow during a run, she goes home, gets her gun, and puts the cow out of its misery, ignoring her boyfriend's question about the case file along the way. If the guy is smart, he'll start sleeping on the dock.

3. Jack Holder. He's back for Regi's wedding, and may have his life most in order, as he's living with his dad in Chicago and doing well at school, Still, he misses his mother, and asks her why she's still in Seattle when she could move to Chicago and see him more often. She doesn't have a good answer for that, shockingly.

Honorable Mention: Regi Darnell. She's married! To another woman! Hopefully their honeymoon won't be cut short by Regi having to intervene with Linden again. At least she won't have to be Jack's de facto foster parent.

Three Down

1. Ashley. Our victim, who did not go gentle into that goodnight. I don't think we ever got a last name for her, which is sadder still. Look for her rings (which were not present when her body was recovered) to play a significant role in the near future (more anon).

2. Ray Emery. The husband of the woman who was killed and father of the son locked in a closet with her corpse, Emery is now 30 days from execution, and doesn't look to be fighting it. In fact, his assault on a prison chaplain seems to be part of a plan to make his execution as notable as possible (he also wants a hanging rather than an injection, which is apparently an option in Washington). So I'm not sure he's a loser here - he seems to be getting what he wants - but he's pretty clearly going to die. Unless his letter to Linden (I'm assuming the Department of Corrections envelope she received is from him) helps stoke her belief that there was something off about his case...

3. Kallie Leeds. Kallie is one of a group of homeless teens that apparently included Ashley. Except she's not exactly homeless; her mom lives in the area, and she's able to go home, but her mother clearly doesn't want her there (she tells Kallie to her face that her birth was the worst thing to ever happen to her). So she's functionall homeless, and spends most of her time with Bullet, an abrasive (and very butch) girl of about the same age. Kallie doesn't have Bullet's problems - her mouth gets her in trouble, and she's got feelings for another girl who is with an older homeless teen - but the ride she takes at the end of the episode may very well be her last (based on the similarities between the way the first and last shots of the episode).

Honorable Mention: that cow. Linden comes across a (apparently abandoned) cattle shed during a run, and for all of the skeletons lying around manages to find one sick cow, which she later puts down. I'm just wondering how that cow managed to hang on when all of the other ones are long since dead. On the other hand, maybe I don't want to know.

Up Fronts, Rated

OK, I usually rank the up fronts right after they're done, but haven't felt compelled this year as no one blew me away with their excellence/crapulence. Still, might as well get it over with.

5. Fox. To be honest, I'm finding it hard to make distinct differences between everyone who isn't CBS. Fox has at least one show I'm interested in checking out (Brooklyn Nine Nine), but most of the new shows don't do much for me. They've also dedicated 1.5 nights a week to The X-Factor and American Idol, neither of which are doing the network any favors. More info on the return of 24 could have moved Fox out of the basement.

4. The CW. As with everything related to the netlet, this is kind of on the curve. I think their new shows (and programming in general) is aimed at the people they want, but that sort of focus doesn't really lead to growth.

3. ABC. They'd be lower if it wasn't for Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. And I'm not even a comic book fanboy. Also concerned that Monday might finally show signs of aging.

2. NBC. I'm a little surprised they're here, as I wasn't particularly overwhelmed with their new shows. Maybe I'm just sending them good vibes for renewing Community and Hannibal. And really, if I were to rewrite this a couple of hours from now I might have a completely different lineup here.

1. CBS. I'm not over the moon with their new shows, but the combination of known talent and strong returning shows puts them in the best position to succeed.

So there it is, for what it's worth.

Three Up, Three Down: Mad Men, "A Tale of Two Cities"

Three Up

1. Jim Cutler. With Don and Roger in L.A., and after an exchange with Ginsburg that's insubordinate at best, Cutler suggests to Chaough that's it time to get rid of some of the SCDP people and bring back some CGCers. Ted is resistant, but Cutler sets his sights on Bob Benson, sticking him with a meeting that winds up with the firm on review. As a "reward," Cutler puts Bob on Chevy, who have finally bought into the firm's plans for the new car. And in the end, Cutler gets to announce a name change to Sterling Cooper and Partners, which makes him look magnanimous for taking his name off of the firm.

2. Joan Harris. When a friend sets her up on a date, it turns out to have a very different purpose than what she thought - it's with an executive at Avon who is looking to boost sales. Joan handles the shift from the personal to the professional well, and tells Peggy about the potential client. Peggy goes to Ted, who puts Pete on it, cutting out Joan. But Joan snags it back by changing the meeting with Avon and not telling Pete. Peggy thinks that's a bad idea, and Pete things it's a horrible idea, between being cut out and how this violates the "fundamental rules" of accounts. Some quick subterfuge by Peggy gets Joan out of trouble, but puts her squarely on the hook for landing Avon as a client. It's a chance Joan's willing to take to finally get some stake in the firm that isn't based on her physical features.

3. Ted Chaough. Ted's against Cutler's "coup," looking to move forward rather than be divisive. His trip to Detroit bears fruit when Chevy accepts the firm's campaign strategy for their new car, which Ted even gets to see (if in clay only). This plays into Cutler's plans, but Ted either doesn't see that or is happy enough to have made progress to not care. He backs Joan over Pete on Avon based on the apparent connection Joan has with the Avon exec, and while that might subvert the normal order of things, it's likely the right move in a pragmatic sense.

Honorable Mention: the Ford Mustang. As much ire as it causes Don and Roger, the Mustang they get as a rental is pretty sweet. And underscores that whatever Chevy comes up with isn't going to match up.

Three Down

1. Pete Cambpell. The marginalization of Pete continues, between getting squeezed out on Avon to having the squeeze made permanent by Ted to not having his name on the firm. And when he's not blustering about these indignities, he's being smarmy and condescending (such as when he dismisses Joan from meeting with Avon before she cuts him out). And when no one but him seems to care that the merger has changed the business, he apparently decides that if you can't beat them, join them, by taking a joint off of Rizzo and taking a toke. It appears to be eye-opening to Pete from the first, but I'm going to be he's the type who gets paranoid high.

2. Don Draper. Don's cynicism over politics (he's less moved by the violence in Chicago than most, though he does seem sufficiently chagrined by it) and disdain for the rental (he's hoping no one from GM is in town) bleeds over to the meeting with Carnation, where his pitch to advertise their Instant Breakfast alongside cereal doesn't appear to gain traction. Harry takes him and Roger to a party where Don smokes hash, which makes him cotton-mouthed, prone to hallucination, and almost dead when he winds up in the pool. So kind of a bust of a week for Don, though he seems to be making some rapproachment with Megan.

3. Michael Ginsburg. The lack of a peace plank sets Ginzo off, most notably on Cutler, whom he calls a fascist (among other, even more charged things). Cutler does remind Ginzo that he seems OK with getting paid with money from Dow and other companies who produce war materiel, which apparently hits home later, as Ginzo has a full-blown freak out before meeting with Manischewitz. Benson is able to talk him down by using a lot of power of positive thinking-type jargon and a reminder of just who their client is. Ginzo was lucky not to be fired, and will likely walk that line (due to his personal connection to what war does to people) and the line of being in business with pro-war elements for some time.

Honorable Mention: hashish. As peaceful as the people smoking it seem to be, the hallucinations and near-death experience it gives Don isn't exactly an advertisement for its use. It makes the LSD trips we've seen before (and see in this episode in the persona of Lotus) seem benign by comparison. 

Three Up, Three Down: Mad Men, "The Better Half"

In honor of this week's title, it's an all couples version of Three Up, Three Down.

Three Up

1. Henry and Betty Francis. At some fundraiser another member of the New York GOP propositions Betty (who is now all the way back to her old form, and then some), and Henry gets all turned on by this. But her enjoyment at being the future Mrs. Senator Henry Francis doesn't stop her from having a roll in the hay with Don while both are visiting Bobby at camp. She has a pretty interesting post-coital talk with Don, revealing that she's more or less over their history and that she feels badly for Megan, as the worst way to hold on to Don is to love him (which hits Don pretty hard, as he'd never made that connection). In the end, Betty is back with Henry and in wife mode and keeping Don at length, though one wonders how long that will last.

2. Bob Benson and Joan Harris.  The trip to the hospital has created some sort of friendship here, as Bob is now in her life enough to have a beach trip with Joan and Kevin. But it does get dicey when Roger drops in unannounced with a present for Kevin (the result of a disastrous day out with his grandson, more of which anon). Bob also learns from Joan about Pete's need of a nurse for his mother, and is able to give him a reference to a nurse who got his father back to health. They're on their way to making a cute couple, though after Joan tells Roger that he's not Kevin's father in any sense other than biological, Bob may want to get his resume in order.

3. Duck Phillips and Pete Campbell. And speaking of resumes, old friend Duck Phillips is back, now working as a headhunter. Pete's seeing him based on a conversation with Harry, coupled with Pete's concern of his position at the new firm. Duck sees this and talks about Pete's lack of position, but also hits on how the lack of clarity in Pete's personal life will prevent clarity in his work life (Duck claims a similar issue was his own downfall, though Pete does helpfully mention gin). It's a nice scene, and you can see Pete start to get things in order with getting his mother a nurse who she hopefully won't run off.

Honorable Mention. Harry Crane and his delusions. Harry still thinks he'll be a partner when all is said and done. He's holding on to that thought pretty tenaciously, not that it's going to get him anywhere.
 
Three Down

1. All of the men in her life and Peggy Olsen. Peggy's become the pawn in Don and Ted's battle at work, and while she's trying to stay out of it she's got Don telling her to pick a side and Ted trying to woo her. Home life isn't giving her a respite, as Abe got stabbed coming off the subway and refuses to cooperate with police, saying to Peggy that the muggers don't have a choice. He's also disappointed that Peggy would so readily take the cop's side. Later, though, after a broken window incident, Abe relents that moving to this part of the city may have been premature. He agrees to put the place back on the market. But before they can move out (and maybe even the same night?), Peggy accidentally stabs Abe with her kitchen knife on a pole when she thinks someone is breaking in. It's on the ambulance trip that Abe decides that he can't abide with Peggy's advertising work, that it stands against everything he believes and he can't get past that. This frees Peggy for Ted, but it turns out that their previous conversation about putting their kiss behind them has worked, as he treats her in a very professional matter. That he and Don are all congratulatory with each other over progress with Fleischman's only underscores how physically depleted Peggy looks at the end.

2. Don and Megan Draper. While Don is off in the woods getting it on with his ex-wife, Megan is trying to deal with playing two different characters on her soap (sisters) and getting little support from Don, who is more than happy to blow off Megan's problems (and her dinner) to watch TV. She glumly accepts this and turns to co-star Arlene for help. They chat a bit about Megan's concerns, but between the wine and Megan's helplessness, Arline takes it as a signal and kisses Megan. Megan, of course, doesn't play that way, and now has to worry that Arlene will cause trouble by talking about this with her husband, the soap's head writer. Arlene seems fairly put out by this, but puts on a brave face when she leaves. Megan does have a good heart to heart with Don about her concerns for their marriage and how she's trying to recapture what brought them together. Don agrees that they need to try to reconnect, though it's hard to tell how much of this is Don taking Betty's comment to heart and how much of it is Don being Don. 

3. Roger Sterling and all the women in his life. Roger opens the show by looking after his grandson. He ends it by having his daughter say he can only see his grandson under Mona's supervision, as the boy (4 years old) is having nightmares after seeing Planet of the Apes with Pop-Pop. This is what leads Roger to get a present for Kevin, but finding Bob Benson at Joan's, and then hearing from her that Glenn is Kevin's father, regardless of the biology, puts Roger in a difficult, but not wholly unfamiliar, place.

Honorable Mention. Bobby 2 and Bobby 5. Bobby Draper is Bobby 5 (due to the plethora of Bobbys at camp, I assume). He says hi to Bobby 2 across the restaurant, but doesn't get much of a reaction from him. I don't think Bobby 2 is that into you, Bobby 5.

Three Up, Three Down: Mad Men, "The Crash"

Three Up

1. Betty Francis. A short but effective appearance by Betty, as the revelation that the kids were alone in Don's apartment while it was being robbed lets her lay into him for neglecting the kids, into Megan for putting Sally in charge, and New York in general for being dirty. She got to throw in that Henry is running for office into the mix, too. And on top of it all, her "reducing" campaign is working. So she gets to look good while feeling good about how everyone/thing she hates has failed her. All she needs now is to shoot at some birds to cap things off.


2. Henry Francis. He's not in the episode much, but he does get to be the only adult in the room when Don comes back and finds out about the robbery. Most of the reason this posting is so late is that I couldn't figure out who, if anyone, should have finished here. I didn't think Rizzo should be higher than third (and wasn't going to be more than an honorable mention except for the lack of positives in the episode). So Henry gets this by pretty much being written to form and not appearing in most of the episode.

3. Stan Rizzo - he finally makes the pass at Peggy we've been waiting for, but she rebuffs him. Turns out he's lost a cousin in Vietnam, and his behavior over the season (drinking, drugs, etc.) is likely related. Peggy gives him some good advice about feeling the loss so you can move on, which Stan will follow... well, not now, as he's busy nailing Gleason's hippy dippy daughter (while Cutler watches like a creep). I suppose that's a win?

Honorable Mention: Whoever taught Aaron Staton to tap. Pretty impressive footwork by the hugely put-upon Ken Cosgrove.

Three Down

1. Don Draper. Don may want to stay away from drugs, as the "vitamin complex" and stimulant shot sends him right into flashback territory, which shows us how young Don became a man thanks to the ministrations of a particularly caring prostitute. Turns out he incorporated the woman into an early ad campaign, which wraps up what Don's been working on all weekend - a pitch to Sylvia to take him back. The other Creative staff don't twig on to this until he runs out of the office, though they have no idea what he's been working on if not Chevy.

His crazy, muttering self gets home only to find Megan, Betty, Henry, the kids, and representatives from the NYPD there. They explain the robberies, Betty gets to yell a lot, and Don passes out. That's probably for the best, as it allows him enough time to either forget or rethink his pitch to Sylvia. The pair wind up sharing a very long and silent elevator ride on Monday, so that's apparently over for good. But the final blow comes when Don meets with Ted and Cutler to say that he's done with Chevy - he'll review work as needed as Creative Director, but he's not going to deal with Chevy's day to day nonsense. He compares the agency when working on a car account to a whorehouse, which just puts a bow on things.

2. Ted Chaough. Ted's feeling the pressure from Chevy, who keep rejecting ideas and have come up with a multi-year timetable for the campaign that includes wanting more ideas on Tuesday. So with the prospect of a working weekend, Ted then finds out that Gleason has passed away, which ruins him. He does get some consolation from Peggy (nothing randy), but he's feeling adrift, as Gleason was the negative force that kept Ted in check. And once Don says he's not going to play Chevy's game, Ted's well and truly cut off.

3. Sally Draper. With the kids visiting on the weekend where Don has to work, Sally winds up minding Bobby and Gene when Megan has to go to a play so her agent can introduce her to producers, etc. Sally's done this before (and gets cool clothes out of the deal, which Betty dislikes), but what she's not encountered before is a large African-American woman who is rifling the cabinets. The woman says she's Sally's grandmother, which confuses Sally but she at least plays along (though her call to the police does get the woman to leave, after taking all of Don's watches and other stuff). Turns out the woman was a thief, and while everyone shows appropriate concerns for the kids, Sally realizes that the thief seemed to know a lot about Don, more than Sally does. This is the first time she's realized this, which makes Don's apology and reassurance that Sally did everything right kind of hollow.

Honorable Mention: The Gleason family. They lose their dad and then the daughter, Wendy, winds up at the agency for the weekend, reading the I Ching and hooking up with Rizzo. She may have been better off in the West Village.

Upfronts; The CW

Last but not least (except for ratings) is The CW, which has become the traditional cap to network upfronts. Hey, whatever gets you out to JFK or Newark on time.

Who Stays? Who Goes?

No surprises here, as the notable cuts - 90210, Gossip Girl, Cult and Emily Owens M.D. were either expected to end or were dropped from the schedule early on. Supernatural is back for a ninth season - no word on it being a final season. Nikita, though, will be back at some point to wrap things up over six episodes.


What's Coming?

Monday - Hart of Dixie and Beauty and the Beast move to Monday, the younger female option to Dancing With the Stars and Castle on ABC.

Tuesday - Opens with The Originals, which follows the original vampire family as its patriarch tries to uncover a plot to destroy him that may involve other family members. It's a spin-off of Vampire Diaries, as you might imagine. It's followed by a relocated Supernatural.

Wednesday - Arrow stays here to open the night, followed by The Tomorrow People, an adaptation of a British show about genetically-advanced teens who develop powers like telekinesis, transportation, and so on. Sounds like a younger version of Heroes, but hopefully without the dopey and melodramatic opening voice overs.

Thursday - Starts with The Vampire Diaries and ends with Reign, which follows a teenaged Mary, Queen of Scots, as she travels with her ladies in waiting to France to see the prince she's been arranged to marry. I never quite thought of The CW as a home for period drama, but a little Tudors-lite bodice ripping may be a nice change of pace.

Friday - The Carrie Diaries move here and gets paired with America's Next Top Model. I'm less surprised by the pairing than the night, but looking at the numbers The Carrie Diaries never quite caught on, so Friday it is, though I'd imagine the target demo for the show will be at the mall (time to count the DVR viewers!).

No specific date is given for the 20th cycle of ANTM, but I'm seeing summer 2013 everywhere, so I'm assuming it'll run into the fall. Same judges, etc. as the last time, but the models will include men for the first time. It's a nice wrinkle, though I wonder if they should have interspersed regular and themed cycles to goose ratings and not create an expectation for themed cycles (this being the fourth one in a row).

Kicking around for mid-season are Star Crossed (a teen-centered aliens openly live on Earth drama that's reminiscent of Alien Nation and District 9), The 100 (a group of juvenile delinquents is sent from a space station to repopulate a nuclear disaster-ravaged Earth), and The CW's annual horrific attempt at a reality show, Famous in 12 (an everyday family has 12 weeks to become famous, or at least CW-level famous). 

The Verdict?

I suppose The CW has met their goal of bringing in new programming that will appeal to its desired demo of younger females. How wrong can you go with more vampires and young princesses? Friday is worrisome, but Friday is the one night where having slightly lower ratings is expected. I don't think any of the new shows will be the next Gossip Girl, but I don't think they'll be the next Emily Owens, either.

Upfronts: CBS

Another year, another CBS upfront where they get to show it's good to be number one.

Who Stays? Who Goes? As you'd expect from a network that's doing well, there aren't that many cuts that weren't already known. The most surprising is Vegas, whose late spring hiatus led to a drop in viewers from which it never recovered. The Eye also finally put Rules of Engagement out of our misery and retired CSI:NY one year too late.

What's Coming?

Monday - we get the largest collection of new shows  on Monday, with How I Met Your Mother (in its last season) at 8 and Two Broke Girls at 9. In the 8:30 slot we get We Are Men, the latest attempt at a guy-centered sitcom, this time located at an apartment complex that caters to short-term renters (kind of a live-action version of Kirk Van Houten's life at the Bachelor Arms). Tony Shalhoub, Kal Penn and Chris O'Donnell are some of the tenants, not that a well-known cast has helped similar shows long since cancelled.

At 9:30 there's Mom, which stars Anna Faris as a recovering addict with two kids who winds up living with her recovering alcoholic mom, played by Allison Janney. This feels a lot like ABC's Back in the Game. I'm hoping Chuck Lorre's involvement will help elevate this.

At 10, we start the season with Hostages, starring Toni Collette as a surgeon whose family is taken hostage by a rogue FBI agent (Dylan McDermott) who wants Collette to assassinate the President when she operates on him. I expect the show will involve more of whatever conspiracy that's behind the kidnapping, otherwise they're going to have to push the surgery back a few seasons.

This will be replaced at midseason by Intelligence, which follows the exploits of a secret agent whose been implanted with a chip that allows him access to the Web, etc. I feel like this has been done before, or maybe it was an old April Fool's joke from Google. Anyway, can't say I'm interested.

Tuesday - NCIS leads to NCIS: LA and then to the relocated Person of Interest. Not sure it's wise to put so many highly-rated shows on one evening. On the other hand, there's not really a night that really needs the help from any of these shows (though they could have moved Person of Interest to Monday and let one of the new dramas go here to soak up the ratings).

Wednesday - unchanged with Survivor, Criminal Minds and CSI.

Thursday - Opens with The Big Bang Theory and closes with a relocated Two and a Half Men and Elementary. In the middle at 8:30 there's The Millers, starring Will Arnett as a recently divorced TV newsman whose dad (Beau Bridges) takes this news as a sign that he should divorce his wife of 43 years (played by Margo Martindale). Mom moves in with Arnett's character, Dad with his daughter and her family. Hijinks apparently ensue, not sure if the high-profile cast will tempt me to see if hijinks actually happen.

The other new sitcom is The Crazy Ones, which sees Robin Williams return to situation comedy as the boss of an ad agency whose success is due to his almost uncontrollable genius. Providing what control she can is his daughter, played by Sarah Michelle Gellar. As these things go she's the focused and organized one, and she, with the help of the agency's best and brightest (which includes James Wolk, Mad Men's Bob Benson) keep her dad in line. I actually like the chances for this one, as the timing is right with 30 Rock and The Office going away, the casting will draw early viewers, and it's the most original attempt at ripping off Mad Men to date.

Friday - Undercover Boss and Blue Bloods remain, with Hawaii 5-0  moving in between them.

Satuday - reruns and 48 Hours

Sunday - unchanged with 60 Minutes, The Amazing Race, The Good Wife and The Mentalist. I do wonder when CBS will finally give in and schedule the NFL overrun.

The lone new midseason show is Reckless, which is like Hart of Dixie, except for grownups. A lawyer from Chicago moves to Charleston and gets involved with the city attorney, a local guy, just as a scandal in the police department pits them against each other professionally (and may have More Sinister Implications, as you'd expect). 

The Verdict?

CBS is going to stay on top, and will do so even if all of their new shows tank. Which they won't. I'm slightly more bullish on the new sitcoms here than at the other networks, though that may be from all the familiar names more than anything else. The dramas all fall in that Revenge/Scandal/Single Name Suggesting Serious Import mold that I'm not that interested in. But I assume at least one of them will be good enough - and get enough viewers thanks to its lead-in - to stick.

Upfronts: ABC

How do you spell ABC? M-E-H. That describes the network's overall ratings (stuck in third with NBC closing) and the general offerings, which tend not to fail miserably but also don't wow.  And with one or two exceptions, we're getting more of the same for 2013-14.

Who Stays? Who Goes? There's nothing tremendously surprising for ABC in the shows they brought back and those they cut loose. Based on premise alone I'd slated The Neighbors for cancellation, but the aliens next door sitcom found a place in and among ABC's other (higher-rated) shows and is coming back. Two of last year's borderline renewals - Body of Proof and Happy Endings - met the axe this time around. Otherwise, the shows you expect to be back are back and those that aren't aren't.

What's Coming?

Monday - Dancing with the Stars expands to two hours, and will apparently combine performance and results. Curious to see how that works out, as it could be a guide for other mature reality shows whose sagging ratings may have something to do with padded episodes covering multiple nights. It's followed by Castle. And while it's not listed, you have to expect at some point during the season The Bachelor will show up in here.

Tuesday - all new, and led by what might be ABC's most notable new show, Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.  It's Marvel's first TV show, and set in the same universe as its movies (Avengers, Iron Man, etc.), expect some synergy (if not actual appearances by the movies' stars). It's about an elite organization whose members battle the most dangerous criminals. Joss Whedon is involved, which just doubles the amount of fanboy hysterics.

Not sure if this is scheduled too early. It's a good time to draw in the younger eyes, but may not be able to be adult enough for those fans.

Then comes two sitcoms, The Goldbergs and Trophy Wife. The former is set in the 1980s and is about the titular family and their wacky antics, as seen through the eyes of 11-year old Adam and his video camera. As far as I can tell it's not related to the radio-turned-TV show of the same name, and the premise makes me miss Everybody Hates Chris. Trophy Wife is about a woman who meets a guy at a karaoke bar and winds up married to him a year later. She then has to figure out how to be a stepmom while under the watchful eye of two ex-wives. There are some notable names in the cast (Bradley Whitford, Marcia Gay Harden), but the set-up doesn't do much for me.

The night ends with Lucky 7, a drama about a group of gas station employees who play the lottery together, their lives, and how their lives would change if they ever win. They'd better win by October sweeps, otherwise I don't know what keeps this show going.

Wednesday - The Middle and Modern Family are at 8 and 9. In the first half hour we get Back in the Game, where a single mom and her son moves in with her dad (James Caan!). Both dad and daughter are former athletes who never reached their potential, and the son is basically inept at sports. Caan's character winds up coaching his Little League team, so there won't be any vicarious living through the kid, nosiree.

The other half hour is Super Fun Night, where a trio of party girls have a standing night out (the Super Fun Night of the title) disrupted when one of them gets a promotion and a new boyfriend, who can get them into an even more hip/exclusive/expensive bar. So is every episode some sort of two dates/one night scenario, where the one woman bounces between her guy and her friends? I don't quite get it, though I am of an age and gender where I'm not supposed to get it.

The night ends with Nashville.

Thursday - opens with Once Upon a Time in Wonderland, where Lewis Carroll gets the Once Upon a Time treatment. Alice is, like the real Alice, a girl in Victorian England, but in this case she has actually been to Wonderland, and the authorities want to drug her up so she'll forget her hallucinations. But a couple of Wonderland creatures show up and they escape down the rabbit hole and on to new adventures. I suppose if you're into the parent show you might be into this one. Fair warning: John Lithgow will be on hand to chew the scenery - literally and otherwise - as the White Rabbit.

Grey's Anatomy and Scandal close things out.

Friday - It's an all-returning lineup, with Last Man Standing, a relocated The Neighbors, Shark Tank and 20/20.

Saturday - college football in the fall, reruns or other crap in the spring.

Sunday - things are familiar up to 10 pm, with America's Funniest Home Videos, Once Upon a Time, and Revenge. The last show of the night is Betrayal, about a man and woman who enter into an affair only to have the man wind up defending a murder suspect who is being prosecuted by the woman's husband. I think the suspect is also the defense attorney's brother in law, the description is a little confusing. But it seems like it'll fit in here as well as anything else.

Of all the possible midseason shows, the only one that caught my eye was Resurrection, where a young boy suddenly wakes up in rural China, thousands of miles away and 30 years after dying in Arcadia, Missouri. He's returned home by an Immigration agent, and while the expected questions come, the boy also remembers details about his death that only he'd know as the decedent, which makes things extra awkward, I'm sure. I could see this as part of a revamped supernatural Tuesday.

The Verdict?

This seems like a line-up created to keep ABC in third place. They might get a bump if the dramas take off, but the sitcoms are a pretty dull bunch, which is a problem. The network should be using Modern Family to develop and launch other shows into other nights, but they need to come up with something that can develop and audience and keep it when it moves. Suburgatory might have been able to do that, but it's been handled in such a way that it's not going to happen.

The best hope here is that S.H.I.E.L.D. blows up and gives the network a foothold on Tuesday that they can exploit. Otherwise, ABC will probably be in the same place - or worse - this time next year.

Up Fronts: Fox

It's not been a great year for Fox, what with American Idol ratings falling and not much of the new stuff catching on with viewers. So how are they going to try to recapture the Fox Attitude?

Who's Staying? Who's Going? - Odds are if you like a Fox show it's going to be on air again, which is interesting given that Fox is slumping. About the only surprise on the cancellation list is The Cleveland Show.

What's Coming?

Monday - the year will start with Bones, followed by Sleepy Hollow, a contemporary take on the Ichabod Crane tale, except that Crane is resurrected and brought to the present day to help solve a mystery dating back to his own time so as to save humanity. Wait, what?

Mid-season brings Almost Human (think Robocop meets Blade Runner, with JJ Abrams lending his name), leading into the second season of The Following, which I've enjoyed, even if I find it hard to buy into all of the successes that Joe Carroll and his plucky band of psychopaths have had against the FBI.

Tuesday - Brings two new sitcoms. One is Dads, where a pair of video game creators (Seth Green and Giovanni Ribisi) have to deal with taking in their dads (Marin Mull and Peter Riegert). Generic, but will hopefully use the cast to good effect. The other new sitcom, and possibly the most promising new show, is Brooklyn Nine-Nine, a police comedy starring Andy Samberg as the hotshot detective and Andre Braugher as his new captain. They had me at Andre.

New Girl and The Mindy Project finish the night.

Wednesday - gives us The X Factor in the fall and the Randy Jacksonless American Idol in the spring. I wonder how much longer Fox is going to try to make The X Factor a thing.

Thursday - results shows for the two singing shows lead into Glee in the fall and new show Rake in at midseason. Rake stars Greg Kinnear as a defense attorney who lives on the edge and takes on the unwinnable cases, addicted to the challenge as much as he's addicted to anything else. I assume there will be no singing.

Friday - leads with Junior Masterchef, a version of Masterchef for kids. American Juniors was apparently not enough of an object lesson on why this is a bad idea. It's followed by reruns of Sleepy Hollow (because, huh?). Later in the fall, Bones moves here along with Raising Hope and new comedy Enlisted, a military comedy set at an Army base in Florida.

Saturday - sports and reruns

Sunday - Animation Domination, unchanged.

As for unscheduled stuff, the big announcement is the return of 24 for a special 12 episode run. Not much info besides that, but bringing Jack back will boost ratings. The only other unscheduled show that looks interesting is Gang Related, about cops taking on gangs in Los Angeles, but that's mostly from a casting perspective (Terry O'Quinn and RZA, together at last).

The Verdict?

Fox has a really good looking Tuesday, and Monday could work out for them once Sleepy Hollow gets out of the way. Sunday should be fine, too. They've got a burgeoning hole in the middle of the week with the reality shows, especially if they can't figure out a way to shore up AI). A more consistent and coherent Glee wouldn't hurt either. And while Friday nights are typically low risk, I have no idea what they're trying to do there. They'd better hope some of their returning shows stay strong or even build.

Up Fronts: NBC

It's that time of year again, when the broadcast networks put their 2013-14 schedules into shape in the hopes of selling lots of ad time. First up this week is NBC.

Who's Staying? Who's Going? If you liked a first season show on NBC this season, I hope you didn't like it too much. Only two new shows made it to a second season, Revolution and Chicago Fire (which is getting a spin-off). Perhaps the only surprising cancellation was Rock Center with Brian Williams, which wasn't doing all that well but gave the network a chance to fill time with some news-entertainment synergy.

As for what's staying, I have to give the network kudos for renewing Community. It seemed like a goner after Dan Harmon left and the season premiere was bumped from October to February, but between the critical support, small but intense fanbase, and the retirement of 30 Rock and The Office, there's a sensibility in keeping it around.

The other surprise renewal for me was Parenthood, though being on the same night as The Voice must have helped.

What's Coming?

You schedule for the week starting in the fall:

Monday - The Voice takes two hours and leads into The Blacklist, about a long-time figure on the FBI's Most Wanted List (played by James Spader), who turns himself in with an offer to catch a terrorist, with one condition: he will only work with newly-trained FBI profiler Liz Keen.

To me this sounds like a combo of 24 (rogue government agent, super bad guys) and The Following (the one on one relationship between criminal and agent with a heavy dose of mystery), which isn't necessarily a bad thing. I do wonder how quickly they'll catch the terrorist and this will become a bad guy of the week procedural. Depends how long Spader's blacklist really is.

Tuesday - All returners, with The Biggest Loser, The Voice results show, and Chicago Fire. At midseason we jettison The Biggest Loser for two sitcoms. The Family Guide is told in flashback form (Jason Bateman filling in for Bob Saget), recapping from a son's perspective how his parent's divorce let the members of the family discover who they really are. The parents are a pair of eccentrics played by J.K. Simmons (he's blind but still does all the dad stuff, with Bateman's 11 year-old character as his wingman) and Parker Posey. Curious, but the description makes it sound like it's trying too hard.

The other show is About a Boy, which is based on the Nick Hornby book and ensuing movie. It might as well be called One and a Half Men.

Wednesday - Revolution starts the night (which I think is a mistake, it's not strong enough to start an evening, and the earlier hour will likely dial back the action), followed by Law & Order: SVU, and finishes with Ironsides, a remake of the Raymond Burr original about a paralyzed police detective (played now by Blair Underwood) who, with the help of a hand-selected team, takes on the tough cases and puts the bad guys away.

I'll admit to loving the original show (I love old cop shows), but am leery of how this will go given the fate of other remakes in the recent past. I'm also wondering how well the show will work outside of the backdrop of the 1960s, where having a woman and an African-American in detective roles was pretty rare.

Thursday - opens with Parks and Rec, and then comes the onslaught of family sitcoms. We have:

* Welcome to the Family, where two recent high school grads find out they're expecting. One family is white, the other Hispanic. Cross-cultural hilarity ensues. I'd like to call it a remake of Condo but I think I'm the only person who remembers that show. It would explain why networks keep trying to make a sitcom with this premise. Too bad, too, as I like the cast.
* Sean Saves the World, where Sean Hayes plays a divorced gay dad who has his teenaged daughter move in full-time. Life-work balance hilarity ensues. There's also a pushy mom played by Linda Lavin. Snore.
* The Michael J. Fox Show has its namesake playing a news anchor set to return to work after taking time off to be with family and fight Parkinson's Disease. Work-life-incurable neurological illness hilarity ensues.

I'm hoping Fox's show pans out, for obvious reasons.

The night ends with Parenthood, which confirms that NBC isn't looking to rebuild its Thursday night ratings juggernaut. It seems like a fine show - I've seen an episode or two - but carrying Thursday night is beyond its powers.

Friday - it's fantasy night on NBC, starting with Dateline and Grimm and leading to the new 10 pm show, Dracula. Which, as you might imagine, is about a vampire. In this case, Drac has moved to London in the late 19th century to find the people who made him undead and make them pay. He's also into science and stuff, apparently.

At midseason the blood sucker moves aside for Crossbones, which stars John Malkovich as Blackbeard. This is really going to be awesome or horrific. Or awesomely horrific. Too bad it's been put in the sci-fi/fantasy ghetto.

Saturday - repeats

Sunday - football, then at midseason we get American Dream Builders (aka Extreme Makeover: Home Edition 2.0), Believe (a show about a kid with all sorts of supernatural mental powers and the group that protects her from those looking to exploit her powers), and Crisis (the kids of various DC power brokers are kidnapped while on a school trip, forcing their parents to cross wits with the mastermind of the kidnapping).

Unscheduled at this point are Community (which I assume will fill in for whatever Thursday night show first gets the axe), Chicago Fire spin-off Chicago P.D. (which, in Dick Wolf style, will eventually spawn Chicago EMT, Chicago Health Inspector and Chicago Sealer of Weights and Measures), a very generic-sounding dude sticom (The Undateables), a very generic-sounding medical drama (The Night Shift), a cross between Millionaire and Big Brother (The Million Second Quiz), and a show that might as well be called Master Top Chef (Food Fighters).

The Verdict?

It's not horrible, especially by recent NBC standards. Sunday (during football season), Monday and Tuesday look like they'll do well, though I'm worried NBC is running The Voice into the ground. The problem day for me is Wednesday, especially if Thursday and Friday trade in ratings for critical/genre success. I like Revolution but don't think it's at the point where it can lead off a night.

It's also hard to say without having seen any of them, but it feels like NBC is still trying the "broader" sitcom approach, albeit not quite as broad as, say, Animal Hospital. Michael J. Fox's show is the wild card here, I think.

Three Up, Three Down: Mad Men, "Man With a Plan"

Three Up

1. Ted Chaough. We're mid-merger, and Ted gets to both show Pete Campbell up by giving up a seat in a meeting to a secretary and leads a very non-Don meeting about a new account. This leads to some friction with Don, but they smooth it over with some drinks and Don doing his thing. They maybe smooth things over too much as Ted passes out. He does get his back when he flies Don up to a meeting with Mohawk and is obviously more comfortable with traveling by single-engine plane. He also has a good chat with Gleason that helps to get Ted less concerned about understanding Don. It's not a big win, but it goes a long way to helping Ted find his way.

2. Joan Harris. She spends most of the episode feeling twinges and getting sick, and it turns out that she has an ovarian cyst. This makes her worry about what would happen to her son if she were to die. She also has a couple of nice Joan moments, one where she puts Ted's secretary in her place and the other when she saves the job of...

3. Bob Benson. Bob's smarminess apparently has a level of compassion, as he takes it upon himself to see Joan to the hospital to get checked out. He then drops by Joan's apartment the next day with a present for Kevin and to check in. Joan's mom likes what she sees, but Joan thinks he's too young. We'll see if Joan comes around to her mom's point of view.

Honorable Mention: Bud Campbell. As part of the subplot with Pete and Bud's mom, Bud gets to give Pete a ration for both not keeping tabs on their mom (who is clearly losing her mind and has pushed Bud's wife to the edge) and for not coming to him for SCDP's IPO underwriting. Bud gets to push mom on to Peter and put in first dibs on the IPO of the merged firm.


Three Down

1. Pete Campbell. Pete sees trouble at work with the merger, as not having a seat at the partners' meeting represents to him a looming lack of position. This isn't helped when Don and Ted go to take the meeting at Mohawk without him. They do that because of Pete's new personal problem - his mom. She shows up at the apartment thinking it belongs to Pete's dad (who is dead), and is clearly in the early stages of mental decline. He tries to have her stay with him at the apartment, but it's problematic, as her attempt to make tea leads to a fire that Pete has to respond to, which is how he misses the Mohawk meeting. Things just keep getting better for Pete.


2. Don Draper. He overhears a fight at the Rosen's (it sounds like Arnie is getting a job at the Mayo Clinic, Minnesota is mentioned), which is followed shortly by a call from Sylvia. They meet at a hotel, and then Don goes into creepy dominant mode, from ordering Sylvia to crawl around and find his shoes (which she does not do, exactly) to sending her a dress just so she can get undressed for him. But as much as Sylvia seems to want him, a dream leads her to break it off, which visibly upsets Don and leads to a certain despair at his domestic situation (a conversation with Megan fades to nothing, for example).

3. Sylvia Rosen. Marital troubles are compounded when she starts to play into Don's games, and it's pretty clear that she'd have stayed in that hotel room doing naked cartwheels if Don ordered it. Which is why it's surprising that a dream leads her to end the affair entirely. Not that there weren't signs of this before; it could just be that Sylvia's conscience needed time (and creepiness) to get her to that point. She may be unhappy with her husband, but she'll apparently take that over the disaster that would come from having to continue the facade (though I think Sylvia versus Megan would be a pretty epic fight).

Honorable Mention: Burt Peterson. Canned twice by Sterling Cooper, it was pretty entertaining to see both Roger getting so much pleasure at firing him twice and Burt getting all in a snit again (albeit less physical than the first one).

Three Up, Three Down: Mad Men, "For Immediate Release"

Three Up

1. Don Draper. It's kind of a miracle win for Don, as he started out by firing Jaguar - Herb wanted a kid who writes fliers for him to review Don's work, so you can imagine how that went - which put the firm's plan to go public in jeopardy (Don was unaware of the plan) and pissed of Joan, who now feels like she slept with Herb for nothing (as she noted, she was able to deal with him, so Don should have been able to).

But there are two things that saved the night for Don. First, he gives Al Rosen some decent advice about making one's own opportunities, which puts Rosen's long term needs ahead of Don's short term desire to nail Al's wife. Second, Don come up with the idea that landed the new Chevy account - the merger of SCDP and CGC.

2. Roger Sterling. Roger proves he can still work accounts by using a spy - an airline club room hostess who he's also bedding - to find out when executives are traveling so he can chat them up. This is how he meets a Chevy exec - in town to meet with other agencies about a new car - and lands SCDP a shot at the account. He also proves adept at the spycraft himself, ordering a fake Gibson - water and an onion - while plying the Chevy guy with Jim Beam.

3.Marie Calvet.  In town for Mother's Day, Marie continues to be implacably French - offering up her Mother's Day flowers to Al Rosen when he needs to come up with a gift to Sylvia from their son and talking smack about Herb's wife during the abortive Jaguar dinner (in French, thankfully). This is more entertaining than how it reads on the page. She gives Megan some sexist but apparently successful advice about reconnecting with Don (provocative dress) and gets to give Roger the business when he calls after blowing off the Jaguar dinner.  Very entertaining.

Honorable Mention: Spy music. The music on the show is usually great, and I have to admit to having much love for the spy/wacky plan music that's been showing up. Pretty much anything Roger does should get this for a soundtrack.

Three Down

1. Pete Campbell. Pete is playing a central role in the public offering, and even gets nice words from Cooper about how his work laid the foundation for things. He even appears to be in line for a rapprochement with Trudy, who has him over for the weekend and is taking note of his renewed interest in her.

But then things get all Campbelled up when, at a whorehouse to celebrate looming IPO riches, he runs into his father in law in the hall. Awk-ward. While Ken says nothing will happen - the only way for both men to come out of the encounter unscathed is to not say anything - turns out that Pete's father in law pulls Vick's account because he is not right for his daughter. This leads Pete to tell Trudy about her father, which wrecks any progress the two of them has made (though Trudy may be coming around to thinking Pete is telling the truth).

Oh, and Pete manages to spill the beans on the IPO during a very public confrontation with Don, which starts with Pete tripping on the stairs. Pete's right to be mad, but he looks like and idiot, as usual.

2. Peggy Olsen. She and Abe have bought their building in a transitional neighborhood, and Peggy's not buying into it thanks to Abe's attempts at renovation, their junkie tenant, and kids who apparently live on their stoop. Her disillusionment turns into actual illusionment when she starts picturing Ted Chaough when getting down with Abe. She also expresses a distaste for change which blows up in her face when she finds out about the merger and that she'll be working for Don again in some capacity. And they ask her to write the press release about the merger with almost no guidance.

Oh, and she mentions that she loves Bobby Kennedy. It's going to be a tough 1968 for Peggy.

3. Ted Chaough. First, he learns that Gleason - the pessimistic artist partner - is dying of pancreatic cancer, and that buying his share out after his death will probably lead to the end of the firm. Any hope of rescuing things is wiped out when he learns that SCDP is pitching Chevy, as two small firms will cancel each other out. And then he has to swallow the idea of merging with the enemy, which is really the only way to both land the account and keep both firms afloat (SCDP having lost Jag and Vick's at this point). In between all of this he also manages to kiss Peggy (he's at least tipsy when he does so), which isn't going to help his marriage.

Honorable Mention: Trudy Campbell. Learning that your husband went to a brothel while he explains to you that your father was also there will not be a highlight of Trudy Campbell's life. That she may be giving the idea fair consideration rather than sticking with the denial she gives Pete might be worse, give how it will change her relationship with her father forever. I'd have bumped this up to the bottom three except the revelation also put her relationship with Pete back on the skids, which is good for her.

Three Up, Three Down: Mad Men, "The Flood"

Three Up

1. Peggy Olson. It doesn't all go her way - she doesn't win the local ad award she's up for, and the apartment she wants to buy goes to someone else - but in talking about the apartment with Abe she learns that he has envisioned a future with her, with kids, living somewhere more diverse than the Upper East Side. Betty is visibly moved by this, not that Abe notices (he's working on article related to the Martin Luther King, Jr. assassination, which frames the episode).

2. Henry Francis. He goes with Lindsay to Harlem, and while he's invigorated by being on the front lines of unrest, he's not happy with how the mayor laid the groundwork for limited unrest by previously cutting deals that allowed for police corruption and giving breaks to thugs. His growing distaste with this sort of dealing leads him to a potential state senate run (with an eye to becoming state attorney general). Betty is pleased, as she says its what she's always wanted for him.

3. Bobby Draper. It doesn't start easy for him - Betty discovers he's been peeling wallpaper and gives him a week without TV as punishment - but between some kind words to a movie theater usher and concern that Henry will get shot (which Don typically dismisses saying Henry isn't important enough to get shot), we see some unexpected empathy from Bobby. God know where he got that from.

Honorable Mention. Megan Draper. She actually does win a local ad award, not that anyone cares at that point, but things get tough for her between the actual assassination and the responses of both her father (who comes up with some sort of Marxist interpretation that infuriates her) and Don (who ditches her, Sally and Gene to keep an eye on "sick" Bobby, meaning they go off to the movies and Don has a few). She has the strength to confront Don on this, and in return gets a pretty stunning revelation that helps Megan understand Don better (and help Don understand himself in the process). That's better than some Lucite-encased plaque.

Three Down

1. Don Draper. His lover is stuck in DC with her husband, Betty forces him to bring his kids into the city (regardless of the danger), and Megan calls him out for letting alcohol create a buffer between him and those he loves. Don suggests Megan is better with the kids, but after further prodding Don admits that he doesn't love his kids, but acts as if he does. He lays the blame here on his childhood, which we've seen was not great, and questions about his father having the same lack of feelings for him. He does mention that Bobby did something to help melt the ice, but Don still has to deal with this reality.

2. Betty Francis. Her Parent of the Year campaign continues with her overblown reaction to Bobby's peeling of wallpaper (not so much in the actual punishment but in her description of his behavior) and her demand that Don drive up, get the kids and bring them back into the city through the riots. She is pleased to hear that Henry is entering politics, but has doubts at the end as she compares dresses to her larger frame, fearing her role in Henry's potentially public new career.

3. Michael Ginsburg. He returns home from work to find a young woman sitting with his father. Turns out his dad plays chess with the woman's dad, and he's trying to set them up (she was told Ginsberg knew, which he clearly did not). Their date is awkward (Ginzo admits to being a virgin, for example), and ends abruptly when news of the assassination breaks. But there was some small glimmer of headway there, which is a good thing considering Ginzo's dad is apparently fixated on finding his son a wife. Ginzo says he can find his own women, but hasn't quite demonstrated that yet.

Honorable Mention: Harry Crane. Harry and Pete comisserate over the lack of secretaries,but things quickly goes sour when he talks to Pete about how business is being effected by the assassination. Pete calls him racist, and while Cooper get the two to shake and "make up" (though that's an abject failure), there's something sad about not being able to take the moral high ground against Pete Campbell. This should have landed him in the bottom three, but then you remember it's Harry Crane, and figure this may be the best he could have done in the circumstances.

Bombedshell

In case you missed it - and based on ratings, pretty much everyone has - NBC moved Smash to Saturday nights a few weeks back. Not surprisingly, ratings have not improved and the move is pretty much a burn off. So how did a show that premiered with much acclaim in the coveted post-Super Bowl slot tank so quickly?

1. Too much too soon. For every character we were given a full professional and personal story, shoehorned into whatever space wasn't involved in a musical number. For every giggle we got from Eileen throwing another drink in Jerry's face, we had to suffer through Julia's interminable family dramas and Karen's boringly doomed relationship with Dev. Better to have focused on the relationships with a more direct tie to the show: Eileen and Jerry's divorce (which put Eileen's ability to produce the show in jeopardy) and Derek's pursuit of every leading lady he encounters.

2. Do you know how long it takes to get a show to Broadway? No? Neither does the show. We've heard on more than one occasion that it takes years to get a show to Broadway, but somehow Bombshell is violating the laws of space and time to get to its premiere. Even though it's had three different actresses in the leading role, has had a rewrite of its book, two different producers, and was shut down for a time during a Federal investigation. But if Karen could learn a new song in five minutes while the show was testing in Boston, anything is possible.

3. Lousy new characters. I'm thinking here of our Hit List duo, one who is so tormented by his art that he's a complete dick, and the other a total wuss. I have less of a problem with the latter (countless careers have been cut short due to a lack of confidence), but the former, yikes. To be that much of a jerk, and to have almost no explanation as to why he's that way, is a recipe for creating a character that has zero appeal. And then to have the show's one remaining romantic story line be between him and Karen? I was kind of hoping that when he went missing that time that he would never come back.

4. Ellis. Just because.

There are certainly other problematic things to point out - Ivy's sudden and out of character turn to pills, for example - but it would get to piling on fairly quickly. Smash should have been a smart, adult alternative to Glee (itself an example of "who needs a coherent plot when we've got songs!"), and it showed that promise in the pilot, but couldn't keep things going. Maybe it takes years to get a show about Broadway to the small screen?

Three Up, Three Down: Mad Men, "To Have and to Hold"

Three Up

1, Harry Crane. A surprisingly positive episode for Harry, who comes up with a solution for Ken's problem with Dow Chemical (a one hour special Dow sponsors of stars singing Broadway tunes, starring Joe Namath), a couple of bold statements about deserving a partnership, and successfully countermanding Joan when she tries to fire his secretary. And while Cooper and Sterling aren't looking likely to add Harry as a partner, his threat of leaving is taken at least semi-seriously. Harry will find a way to screw this up, but it's a good moment for him.

2. Sylvia Rosen. We don't see much of her, and in what we do see she's either planning an assignation with Don or carrying it out, but her statement at the end that she prays for Don so he'll find peace is much more insightful than what we've heard from Don's other side pieces (or either of his wives, truth be told). As much as she wants to be with Don, she sees that it's more important that he calms the turmoil that's causing him to step out.

3. Stan Rizzo. He gets to work on the secret Project K (the firm's secret pitch for Heinz Ketchup), which allows him to work in private in a locked room, which allows him the peace to work and the ability to smoke pot whenever he wants (he even gets to share a toke and a smile with Don). And when both SCDP and CHC get beaten out for the account, he even gets to give Peggy the finger for spilling the secret (though it seems like he wasn't completely pissed at her).

Honorable Mention: the late 1960s. We got spy music for Project K, the Electric Lounge, swingers and Harry's secretary in go-go boots. Groovy.

Three Down

 1. Don Draper. On the personal front, Don's winds up being too traditional to handle his wife kissing as part of her job, and compares it to being a prostitute. He continues to have his affair with Sylvia, but can't handle that she's praying for him. And at work he not only fails to land Heniz Ketchup, he may have lost the beans account. Probably for the best that he doesn't know that his secretary almost got fired.

2.  Megan Draper. The good news is that she's getting a larger role on her soap. The bad news is that she now has love scenes, which means kissing and stuff. Don't not wild about the idea, and is even less happy when he watches a taping. This leads to a fight where Don basically calls her a whore. And in the middle of this, she and Don get hit on by the soap's head writer and his wife, who are swingers. Work has never been so awkward.

3. Dawn Chambers. Speaking of awkward, Dawn gets caught punching out for Scarlett when the latter is out of the office for the afternoon. She tries to make amends for it later, but Joan responds by giving Dawn what appears to be more responsibility, but the additional tasks may very well make Dawn less liked by her colleagues. We also learn that Dawn is a friend's maid of honor, and in their meetings we hear more from Dawn about her work - she likes it and wants to keep her job, but she's troubled by the amount of sadness in the office, and the amount of drinking.  I was happy to see that Dawn was getting a story line, but wish for her sake it had been more positive.

Honorable Mention: Ken Cosgrove.  After a weekend of listening to his father in law complain that no one likes Dow Chemical (and thinking that it's a dig at Ken and the firm), he gets help in that department from Harry of all people. And then he has to put out a fire with Heinz beans because they learn that the firm pitched to the ketchup division, which he'd expressly forbade. Ken's walking a bit of a tightrope with his father in law (having put his fate in the shaky and slightly clammy hands of Harry Crane) and may lose an account because other people at his firm went behind his back. Ken would have ranked higher if any of this was a a surprise.

Three Up, Three Down: Mad Men, "The Collaborators"

Three Up

1. Trudy Campbell.  Her bookend appearances run the gamut of the Campbell experience. It starts with Trudy flirtatiously fending off some of the neighbors (while their wives are just flirtatious with Pete, who can score them tickets to Hair). One of the wives shows up at Pete's Manhattan apartment and sees a little too much of a future with Pete, and her husband finds out. She tells Trudy, who has a short but highly effective confrontation with Pete the next morning: she knew all along what the purpose of the apartment was, but is now made foolish by his using it to bed women from the neighborhood.

So while Pete counters with divorce, Trudy fends that off, saying he's exiled unless called for and any further transgressions will lead her to destroy him. Seriously, she says destroy. Pete tries to make some comeback about her sleeping alone, but he knows he's in treacherous waters. And if you didn't know it before, be assured that Alison Brie is awesome.

2. Don Draper. On the personal side, he's still juggling Megan and Sylvia Rosen, made especially tricky when Megan confesses to a miscarriage and Sylvia tries to blame Don for their affair and how it makes their spouses look. Don's is gracious with Megan, saying she should have told him about the pregnancy and miscarriage, and calls Sylvia's bluff, saying that she's what he wants and that whatever she's feeling isn't about him. They, of course, are still a thing, though Don does push things a bit by showing up at the Rosen apartment while Dr. Rosen is home. At the end Don sits down in the hallway in front of his apartment door; he's managing things, but for how long?

(We also get some young Don, where he and his mom move into a whorehouse run by his aunt after Don's father dies, giving us some idea of how Don formed his approach towards women as well his mindset of keeping his assignations compartmentalized.)

On the professional side, Don has to deal with Herb the Jaguar dealer, who wants to move most of their ad money to local radio to drive sales. Don hates the idea, but in the meeting with Jaguar oversells the idea so as to sour the top brass on it. It's Don Draper using his powers for evil.

3. Ted Chaough. So much for his marriage retreat, Ted's back in charge and finds that he can exploit Peggy's friendship with Stan as a way to get an account that SCDP is nominally in the market for. Getting a win over Don and company, even when they're not really competing, may be Ted's favorite thing.

Honorable Mention: Roger Sterling. He's only in the episode for a couple of minutes, but they're a good couple of minutes. From his smirk during the Jaguar meeting to his having to explain the Munich Accords to Pete to misquoting Churchill, it's vintage Roger.

Three Down

1. Pete Campbell. Poor dumb Pete. He thought he was being so suave with the Manhattan apartment, but his plan to be the Don Draper of accounts was doomed to fail from the start as he never realized that Trudy is smarter than him. He also can't choose a mistress for beans. His divorce threat is baseless, given the potential payouts to support Trudy and Tammy combined with losing his father in law's business. And then he tries to back Herb's plan for Jaguar's ad campaign and doesn't see Don coming. I'm having a hard time figuring if Trudy's evisceration was worse than Lane punching Pete out; the latter was awesome as a stand-alone incident, but the threat of Trudy lowering the boom has delicious anticipation, as you know it's going to happen eventually.

2. Peggy Olsen. Peggy realizes (or maybe just vocalizes) that she has no friends at work, and her attempt to buck up her staff is horrible, leading them to put a can of feminine powder on her desk with a campaign mock-up that more or less equates her with that not so fresh feeling. She also accidentally sells out Stan when she tells Ted about the Heinz meeting, which Ted wants to use to try to get the ketchup account. Peggy's learning some tough lessons about her profession, which she either didn't or couldn't learn while working for Don.

3. Don Draper's Women. Megan has a miscarriage and feels guilty because (a) she's kind of glad it happened and (b) she never told Don she was pregnant. Sylvia wants to call of their affair, but finds she can't after Don bluntly explains his desire for her and why she's full of it when she tries to put the burden on to him. Joan (here as Don's only female friend) has to deal with Herb during his first visit to the office, which puts Don's hackles up even before hearing Herb's stupid radio plan. You can even throw Don's mom into this, as she has to move her son into a brothel, which rankles her Christian sensibilities and makes her fearful for Don's moral well-being. And rightfully so.

Honorable Mention: Bob Benson. Still smarmy, but kind of getting the points that he needs to reel it in a bit. Though at the end of the episode he seems to be hitching his star to Pete, which at this juncture seems like a really poor idea.

Three Up, Three Down: Mad Men, "The Doorway"

So if you're someone who never quite associated depression with holidays, this episode probably took care of that. Glad it's April, honestly. Anyway, back to determining what three characters had the best episode and which three the worst.

Three Up

3. Megan Draper. Things are working out for Megan. Since we've last seen her she's landed a role on a soap opera, and she enjoys the hell out of taking a working vacation to Hawaii with Don. She continues to be a breath of youthful fresh air for Don and their neighbors (she hosts a New Year's Even fondue party), but there's trouble lurking that she doesn't know about, which puts her current state of contentment at risk.

2. Betty Francis. Betty begins to break away from the path she was put before matriculating at Bryn Mawr, but in perhaps the most Betty way possible. A friend of Sally's who is supposedly going to Julliard admits to Betty that she was rejected, and plans to move in with squatters in the East Village. Both the friend and the squatters have some harsh words for Betty and how she's lived her life based on others, and in the end this strikes a chord, and Betty stops looking for Sally's friend. She also decides to let her hair go to its natural brunette color, a small but significant step in claiming her own life (I'm wondering what's next: abandoning the battle of the bulge or a blow out with her mother in law; I'm hoping for the latter).

I was toying with giving Betty the top spot, but I don't think you can win if you're taking life lessons from 15 year olds. She also had this scene where was talking to Henry about Sally's friend and gave him permission to sleep with her (she actually says rape at one point), a little uncomfortable.

1 Peggy Olson. Peggy finally gets the validation for her work she never got from Don when an ad campaign for headphones gets caught up in news from Vietnam ("Lend Me Your Ears" isn't a great tag line when there's news that GIs are taking ears as trophies from dead enemy troops). She has her Don moment when Abe is using the headphones during a dinner visit, reminder her of outtake footage from the TV ad they shot for the Super Bowl.

We do get to see that she's still Don's protege in some cases - she's very rough on copywriters and has most of the team in the office on New Year's Eve, when she already has a solution in hand. Perhaps these will smooth down as she gets more independent.

Honorable mention: facial hair. Pete has grown out his sideburns a bit as part of his ongoing campaign to distract people from noticing he's going bald. Harry has even longer sideburns as part of his ongoing campaign to be as douchey as possible. Roger seems to be growing a bit of a pompadour, Stan has a beard like Zach Galifianakis in The Hangover, Abe looks like Paul Rudd in Anchorman, and even Ginsberg gets in on the act. 

Three Down

3. Bob Benson. Benson is a relatively new accounts guy at SCDP, and he's very aggressive about trying to make contact with the higher-ups. He "runs into" Don on the elevator and gives him coffee. He sends food to the memorial to Roger's mom. He hangs around in the outer areas of the office trying to cadge time with others. On that last trick Ken sends Bob back to his office, and with no love lost. Bob's clearly trying to move up quickly, and while his moves here generally backfire, it's only a matter of time before he figures out how to play the game. 


2. Don Draper. Don's trip to Hawaii, already a business event, takes on an uncomfortable personal dimension when Don meets a drunken GI at a bar and, after some discussion about being veterans, winds up giving away the bride when the GI gets married the following morning. The GI bears a passing resemblance to Adam, and Don spends the rest of the episode trying to forget the occasion, even throwing away the GI's lighter, which he apparently swapped for his own. 

The stink of death more or less follows Don throughout the episode, from the near-death of the doorman at Don's building (pre-Hawaii, seen in flashback) to the memorial to Roger's mom (at which Don shows up drunk and throws up), to the ad campaign for the Sheraton Hawaiian Village that reminds one of the hotel execs of suicide (most of the SCDP don't see this connection, except for Stan, who thought it was cool). 

And while we never do learn if Don took that woman up on her offer at the end of last season, we do learn that he's reverted back to form with the wife of a neighbor, the cardiologist who saved the life of the doorman (and who appears to be as close to a non-work friend as Don has). He does have the self-awareness to realize their affair needs to end, if nothing else.

1. Roger Sterling. He's apparently traded in LSD for therapy, as we get a number of scenes where Roger is trying to work out his issues, which mostly center around his lack of purpose and a fear of death. It doesn't help, then, that his mother dies, and at the memorial he starts yelling at Mona's new husband. So throw into his other issues new (or newly articulated) feelings that he's let every woman in his life down. He does make partial amends in agreeing to invest in a trucking company his son in law is starting.


Roger doesn't hit the wall until he learns his shoeshine man has died, and he's inherited his shoebox as he's been the only person to call to ask about him. Roger breaks down while going through the box, probably realizing that he's shown more interest in a shoeshine guy than his family.

Honorable Mention: Sally and Bobby Draper. Sally spends pretty much the entire episode in some sort of teenaged snit aimed at Betty, while Bobby goes from having an obvious crush on Sally's friend to hating Betty's new dark hair. I expect Sally will continue acting like a teenager, but I can't begin to predict what Bobby's deal will be going forward.

Flipping Around

Figured I should get at least one post in before the first quarter of the year is done.

* I wasn't particularly sad to see Private Practice go, but I did find it funny that the show ended with all of the doctors in the practice's kitchen, which is pretty much the only room we've seen on a consistent basis for the last couple of seasons. As much as it tried to serve as a coda to the series (with the debate if the show's title was a good title for Violet's new book), it also reminded me of how far the series had strayed from its original idea.

* And while it's not related, I will take the karmic trade-off of Private Practice for The Sing-Off any time. The a capella competition is back next season, and back in its short-run format during the holidays, as it should be.

* Finally got around to watching the first episode of The Following, liked it quite a bit, even if the Joe Carroll's minions seem a little too perfect at carrying out their deeds without being detected.

* While I'd not have used so much profanity, I would have hit on most (if not all) of the same reasons why Chuggington is awful.

My new least favorite TV character

The two or three of you who read this with any sort of regularity know that Amelia Shepherd from Private Practice is my least favorite TV character.  Well, was my least favorite TV character. Part of this is based on changes to Amelia's character and the fact that Private Practice is down to its last few episodes. But mostly it's because the character sucks. I am talking about Kitty, the new Cheerio introduced this season on Glee.

Kitty is supposed to be the replacement for the Quinn and Santana we first knew, bitchy and sent to New Directions to take it down from the inside. The plan for Kitty, apparently, was to give her as many words to deliver as Quinn and Santana would per episode, but only do it in the average amount of time a supporting character would usually get. The result is a hasty mishmash of catty, overly written putdowns delivered with almost no pace or nuance.

Kitty was also forced upon us on day one with no real exposition as to who she was or why she's so disagreeable. She's bitchy for bitchiness' sake, an automaton in Spanx who pushes buttons to get a reaction from characters and viewers alike. We've been given no reason to care about who she is or why she does what she does.  She is not helped by being surrounded by other new characters that were also hastily thrown at the viewers, albeit with a smidgen of background.

I don't know how much of this to lay at the feet of the actor - maybe her delivery has always been a rushed mess - but I really think it's a symptom of the writing and planning for the show, which more or less lurches from plot point to plot point while distracting us with song and dance. I will say that Kitty can at least do that to the appropriate Glee level.

I should also add that, while not a character, I would also be happy if Marley (another of the new characters, who I think is intended to be the new Rachel, just without her drama, interesting character traits, or voice) never appeared wearing that newsboy hat again.

Lost Resort

The early round of TV cancellations got a jolt from ABC when they axed both Last Resort and 666 Park Avenue. I'm not that broken up about the latter; as much as I enjoy Terry O'Quinn, I never warmed to the show's premise.  I am more broken up about the former, which has done well with a pretty high concept and, of course, features Andre Braugher.

My favorite part of the linked story is the reference to ABC's "difficult" 8 pm Thursday slot. How difficult is it?

2012: Last Resort cancelled at 13 episodes.
2011: Charlie's Angels, which aired only 7 of its planned 13 episodes.
2010: My Generation, cancelled after two episodes.
2009: FlashForward, managed an entire season before being cancelled.
2006-08: Ugly Betty, the rare success in the time slot.
2005: Alias, in its final, peripatetic season.
2004: Extreme Makeover, non-home edition
2003: Threat Matrix, cancelled after 14 episodes
2002: Dinotopia, six episodes.
1999-2001: Whose Line Is It Anyway, back-to-back episodes
1998: Vengeance Unlimited, 16 episodes
1997: Nothing Sacred, 20 episodes but Peabody Award!
1996: High Incident, which got a second season at 10pm Tuesday, then cancelled.
1995: Charlie Grace, 9 episodes.
1994: My So-Called Life, 19 episodes and cancelled en route to endless MTV airings.
1993: Missing Persons, 17 episodes.
1992: Delta/Room For Two, a sitcom paring that didn't survive the season.
1991: Pros and Cons, James Earl Jones not enough of a draw.
1990: Father Dowling Mysteries, in the last of its three seasons.
1989: Mission Impossible, in its second, shortened and final season.
1988: Knightwatch, a summer series that made it to fall thanks to a writer's strike.
1987: Sledge Hammer!/The Charmings, both in their second - and last - seasons.
1986: Our World, a news/history series that was well reviewed but little watched.
1985: The Fall Guy, in its last season.
1984: People Do the Craziest Things/Who's the Boss?, the latter in its first season.
1983: Trauma Center, cancelled before Christmas.
1982: Joanie Loves Chachi/Star of the Family, the former tanked when moved to Thursday at 8.
1981: Mork & Mindy/Best of the West, the latter in its only season.
1980: Mork & Mindy/Bosom Buddies, the latter in its first season.

I hadn't planned to go that far back, but looking at the last 32 years really gives an appreciation of the dumpster fire ABC has going at this time slot. It took them 26 years to come up with a scripted show that could hold the slot for more than a season. The shows you've heard of in the time slot were either moved after debuting or moved there to die.

How to explain such long-term suckitude? I have some ideas.

1. 8 pm is too early for drama. Most of the failures on this list are hour-long programs. What successful shows have appeared on this time slot are half-hour shows (Mork & Mindy, Who's the Boss? and Whose Line). I'd guess the preponderance of this was done to counter-program other networks' sitcoms, but that did not seem to work with any regularity.

The exception here is Ugly Betty, though I think it's easy to make the case that the show wasn't a typical hour-long drama. It also was more female-friendly, which fit its pairing with Grey's Anatomy and ABC's programming in general.

2.Conceptual difficulties. Of late, at least, the shows in this slot have been pretty high concept (rogue nukes! seeing the future!), while other times the shows have been decidedly low concept (Charlie's Angels and Vengeance Unlimited come to mind). In fact, the few times show have worked in this slot they've been pretty easy to deal with, concept-wise. Not too stupid, and not too challenging. Just right. Call it the Goldilocks Zone.

3. Tough competition. NBC owned Thursday night for years, which could lead to some quick hooks when shows weren't able to match up. And for every two or three shows that probably deserved the hook, you get one - like Last Resort - that probably didn't.

Here's an interesting comparison. Grey's Anatomy moved to Thursdays at 9 in 2006. For the three years it shared the night with Ugly Betty, the lowest it finished in seasonal rankings was 12th. Then in 2009 it finished 17th, and slumped to the 30s in the following two seasons. All three of its lead-ins were given quick hooks. This year it's up to 19th, but Last Resort hasn't been as successful. So off it goes.

Not sure why ABC continues to balk at trying comedy or unscripted programming here. I suppose they're trying to counter-program against the sitcoms at CBS and NBC, but with their lack of success this might be a case of if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.