Upfronts - NBC

It's that time of year again - the networks present their 2006/07 lineups in the hopes of generating good buzz and ad sales. NBC led off with a presentation this morning.

GONE - You knew that The West Wing and Will & Grace were done, but joining them will be several other shows, with no big surprises: Joey, Inconceivable, Surface, Conviction, Teachers, Heist, The Book of Daniel, Most Outrageous Moments, E-Ring, and Three Wishes.

MOVING - My Name is Earl and The Office will move up to the lead hour on Thursday while Law & Order: Criminal Intent moves to Friday at 10 pm. Scrubs, Crossing Jordan, and The Apprentice will all return at mid-season (Trump will highlight NBC's Sunday coverage after NFL coverage ends, meaning we only get one dose a year, thankfully).

NEW - Seven new shows on tap. They are:

Heroes - ordinary people learn that they've developed superpowers. It stars Adrian Pasdar, Milo Ventimiglia, and a host of people I've never heard of. It airs Monday at 9, and might work well with Medium. Deal or No Deal starts the night (and will only be on twice a week, nice restraint NBC).

Friday Night Lights - based on the book and/or movie, it's about a central Texas town and the high school football team it loves a little too much. Kyle Chandler plays the head coach. Let's hope this stays closer to the source material and doesn't veer into Varsity Blues territory.

That will air Tuesday at 8, and will be followed by Kidnapped, which is not based on the Stevenson novel. Rather, it follows a kidnapping case from start to finish. Cast includes Dana Delany, Timothy Hutton, Jeremy Sisto, Delroy Lindo, and Mykelti Williamson. Think Murder One meets Without a Trace.

Wednesday gives us a new sitcom block with 20 Good Years and 30 Rock. NBC goes back to the well with John Lithgow in 20 Good Years as he and Jeffrey Tambor star as two guys who figure they only have "20 good years" left and plan to live life accordingly. I assume part of that plan is egregious over-acting.

30 Rock stars Tina Fey as the head writer of a sketch comedy show who has to deal with a tempermental star and difficult executive producer. Similarities to SNL or Kilborn-era Daily Show are likely intentional.

Personally, I think this show might go better with The Office and 20 Good Years could pair up with My Name is Earl for some life-changing fun. We'll see.

The SNL appropriation continues on Thursday with Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, a drama about life behind the scenes of a sketch comedy show. The cast is chock full of familiar faces: Matthew Perry, D. L. Huglhey, Amanda Peet, Steven Weber, and Brad Whitford among them. The real question: with a sitcom and a drama about sketch comedy on tap, will people be burned out before getting to watch NBC's actual sketch comedy show?

ER continues in its Thursday at 10 slot (it was rumored to be moving), but will be replaced at mid-season by The Black Donnellys, a drama about four brothers and their deepening involvement with organized crime. Paul Haggis is involved, so hopefully this will be more like EZ Streets and less like the crap he did earlier in his career. ER will return late in the season.

The two other new shows will show up on Sunday once football is over. Preceding Trump will be America's Got Talent, a variety show competition set in Las Vegas that will find the country's best singer or dancer or juggler or something. I smell a Shields and Yarnell comeback!

Post-Trump we have Raines, which is sadly not about Audrey or her dead husband from 24. Instead, Jeff Goldblum goes all Ghost Whisperer on us and partners up with a murder victim to find the killer. Luis Guzman is involved, and while he's very funny, the TV shows he appears on tend to get canned. I'm going to bet on that here, too.

Oh, almost forgot The Singles Table, which will show up at midseason to help fill holes. It's about a bunch of singles who are put at the same table at a wedding. They become friends, yadda yadda yadda, and then the show gets cancelled.

From my limited vantage point, the only shows that really pique my interest are the SNL-derived ones. And even then, I don't think I'd be interested in more than one of them.

Not Surprising, Surprising, Most Surprising

Not Surprising - Sara getting the boot on America's Next Top Model. We knew she was toast when Nigel actually said Jade looked like a model. Pair that with Sara's continued awkwardness and it wasn't that much of a stretch.

(As an aside, Tyra made more comments about Danielle's accent, and next week the girls film a Cover Girl spot. Perfect set-up to engineer a Joanie-Jade final. Bastards. I'm still not sure how they expect Danielle to change how she's talked her whole life in the space of a few weeks. Clearly, there aren't any linguists or speech therapists on the judging panel.)

Surprising - Chris Daughtry getting the boot on American Idol. Considering I had him going out sixth this shouldn't have been that surprising, but after Katherine McPhee forgot some lyrics the night before, I think everyone (including her) thought she was going home.

This is probably a winning by losing scenario, as Chris is probably more suited to fronting a band than going solo. Especially with the twaddle the winner usually has to record.

The McPhee-Hicks final is still possible, though if it comes to pass I think it'll be a coronotation for the twitchiest Idol yet.

Most Surprising - the DVR didn't tape the last minute or so of Lost (thanks, Comcast!), so I didn't get to see if Libby ratted out Michael or not. I've been brought up to speed, though I'm sure it'll get shown in the previouslies next week.

Meanwhile, on The Apprentice

I've been pretty happy with this season of The Donald's "interview" for a new apprentice. I'm not thrilled with the number of marketing-related tasks (perfect for product placement, but boring), but there does seem to be a return to more moments in the suite, which is good to see the contestants outside of tasks and boardroom. The rewards are still pretty useless to see; I don't think I needed to watch a song get written by committee for Burt Bacharach, who is probably still trying to sort out how he got roped into doing it.

The firings have been pretty satisfying, especially the one for dictator-in-training Andrea. I suppose there's the positive that Andrea knew she was a bossy boots, but on the other hand her constant passive-agressive approach to things and her "surprise" whenever someone said something negative about her were pathetic. I'm sure if she read this she'd comfort herself by noting that her net worth is higher than mine. She seemed to find comfort in that at times.

Next week we have a reshuffling that gets the teams back to men versus women. Based on past experience, the task will be something "manly" - selling power tools or beer or something - that they'll screw up in amazing fashion.

I should also take this opportunity to note that the use of Ivanka and Donald Jr. as assistants rather than George, Bill, or Carolyn has actually gone pretty well. We've only seen Jr. once, and Ivanka two or three times, but they fit in pretty well. Neither are as acerbic or witty as George and Carolyn, but they can hold their own. It was also kind of cute to see them interact with their dad after Andrea's firing. Just another loving family cutting loose dead weight.

Mutilation! Part 2

Finally saw the episode of America's Next Top Model where Danielle goes back to the dentist to get her gap closed. It didn't get closed all the way, so it kind of worked out for Danielle. She still has a bit of a gap, but now the judges can't harp on the gap as why she can't be a top model. Instead, they're harping on the way she talks. Which is somewhat understandable, but also unfair. I don't think you can expect someone to change the way they talk at the drop of a hat.

Also unfair is that they've now sent Nnenna and Furonda home while keeping Jade around. I assume that's for TV purposes, but she's pretty much worn out her welcome. There are only so many weeks in a row you can see someone that conceited proclaim their humility before you hope they get hit by a bus. Or, as they're in Thailand now, stepped on by an elephant (sadly, the photo shoot involving elephants did not result in this).

Somewhat related, is it me or do all of the "My Life as a Cover Girl" spots involve Nicole's time at Fashion Week? Wasn't that a while ago? I suppose it's better than when Naima went to that Walgreens.

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

OK, James Heller driving into the Pacific, I can see that. Sort of. But last night's Lost ending? That came from way out of left field. It was the sort of ending that made the weeks of slowness almost worth it. Almost.

That and they had the Hanso Foundation commerical, complete with phone number. I just tried calling it (1-877-HANSORG, if I remember right), and it was busy. Or is that part of the game?

This is Why I Don't Gamble (Much)

Two weeks in a row, my American Idol prognostication comes a cropper. Not that I'm upset; I'd much rather have Elliot and Chris in than Paris or Pickler.

I still think it's going to be a McPhee-Hicks final, but I'd not put any money on it.

From the hatch to the cellblock

Michelle Rodriquez has apparently opted for five days of jail time rather than 240 hours of community service as part of her DUI sentence (she pled guilty). It's an interesting choice, which I figure cuts less into her free time outside of shooting Lost. I suppose she can also term it research and start looking for roles where she can play a female convict.

Given that she'd previously pleaded no contest to a 2004 DUI charge in California, I hope she's not researching the role of a reckless drunk. I also hope for her sake that the Hawaii case doesn't constitute a parole violation in California. Otherwise, Ana Lucia's going to have to get kidnapped by the Others for a while.

For what it's worth, fellow Lost actor Cynthia Watros also pled guilty to her DUI (both were pulled over within 15 minutes of each other), and got a prize package of a fine, alcohol assessment, counseling, and a 90 day licence suspension.

Remember: it's OK to hang loose, but perhaps not so literally.

Halfway There

We're now down to six finalists on American Idol, going into tonight's show featuring love songs as taught by Andrea Bocelli.

There's a sentence I never expected to type.

Anyway, as we get closer to ending our annual death march, here's my pick for how the final six will go down:

6. Chris Daughtry - he's probably the contestant with the most potential to jump right into the industry, but he's not really an Idol-type performer, last week's rendition of "What a Wonderful World" notwithstanding. He's more of a Rock Star-type performer, and the show's non-rock orientation is going to be his undoing, as he has not taken the Bo Bice route of singing and appearing more like a typical show contestant.

Daughtry's been in the bottom three a few times, and I don't think he'll hang on.

5. Elliot Yamin - unlike some contestants, his difficult background (medical) hasn't been overly played-up (either by choice or by Fox wanting to build sympathy for others). He sings pretty well, but is lost a little bit in all the extra crap that surrounds this "singing contest." He has kind of a soul edge to his vocals, which I think works well for him, but only to a point.

4. Paris Bennett - Paris Bennett, meet Tamyra Gray and Latoya London. This is about the point in the competition where African-American women with powerful voices get shown the door (Fantasia notwithstanding), regardless of their actual talent. She might get past this, given how she was pretty much anointed as a finalist at her audition, but I'm going to go with history here.

3. Kellie Pickler - proof that pathos, peroxide, and pulchritude can make up where the singing drops off. There's no reason why she should still be in this competition, other than voters who sympathize with her heavily-hyped backstory and those who think she's purty. There's always one contestant who goes much farther than talent suggests, and this time around it's Pickler.

2. Katherine McPhee - she's attractive and can sing, which probably explains some of Simon Cowell's very positive comments the last few weeks. I think he'd much rather have to promote Katherine than...

1. Taylor Hicks - he seems like he's going to win. He's not been in the bottom grouping, and he tends to lead the DialIdol rankings (a web-based autodialer that measures the busy signals for each contestant, assuming that busy=lots of votes). I'd originally wanted him to win, thinking that there was no way he'd win. Now I'm almost hoping he doesn't win, as I don't know if I can stand future performances full of his spasmodic jerking. Be careful what you wish for, I suppose.

Mutilation!

Last week's episode of America's Next Top Model featured a trip to the dentist to get the contestants some teeth whitening. It is likely not a coincidence that this trip took place in the same season where two of the contestants have noticable dental appearances: one "snaggletooth" and one Lettermanesque gap. Both women had the opportunity to "correct" their problem.

Joanie, the contestant with the snaggletooth, took the offer. Ten hours, four extractions, and a bunch of filing later, she was fitted with veneers that give her a "perfect" smile. Danielle, who has the gap, passed on making a change.

Not surprisingly, Tyra and co. approved Joanie's change, and pretty much told Danielle she'd not win if she didn't get her gap fixed. Apparently, there's never been a top model with gapped teeth (I suppose this woman doesn't count).

Also not surprisingly, Danielle makes a return trip to the dentist in this week's episode.

I'm not sure what I dislike more about this turn of events - the Extreme Makeover vibe, or the push to alter physical appearance. The show usually does a decent job on topics like plastic surgery and the like, and I suppose cosmetic dentistry isn't on the same level as a boob job, but I'm still not comfortable.

Lost Weekend

After spending a fair amount of time this weekend catching up on stuff on the DVR, I have to say I was mostly underwhelmed. The lineup:

* The National Geographic Channel special on the Gospel of Judas, the restoration of which was partially funded by the NGS. I can only hope that the article in the latest issue of the magazine is less repetitive and dull than the special, which seemed like 40 minutes of material stuffed into 120 minutes of show. It was very disappointing.

* "Requiem," the episode of The West Wing that seemed like it was going to focus on the passing of Leo McGarry but spent a lot of time on transition issues. The best parts of the episode focused on Leo and on interplay between original cast members, which should have gotten the entire hour. The subplot on the Speaker of the House election could have waited a week.

* Sticking with the executive branch, the return of Commander in Chief was as disappointing as Aaron Barnhart's review indicated. I imagine it's a short list of shows that have a lead win a Golden Globe and still get cancelled in its first year, but there's a real chance that list will grow. Which is too bad; they're wasting a good cast.

* The first two episodes of Thief, a new FX drama starring Andre Braugher. It may still grow on me, but I had a lingering feeling that I was missing something as I watched.

* Desperate Housewives and Grey's Anatomy both had clip shows last night. Why are they still doing this? I can perhaps forgive the latter show - they need to educate folks who've started watching since the Super Bowl - but Housewives? That's just padding.

On the plus side, we did catch up with 24, which is still implausibly delicious, and we got to see Ace Young get the boot on American Idol, which was a long time coming, even if Kellie Pickler was more deserving of the boot after her admitted butchering of "Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered." Oh, and playoff hockey on OLN has been pretty good, especially as their second game "bonus coverage" seems to be taken right from the CBC - logo and all.

If they ever have a Grey's Anatomy prequel

They should cast Paris Bennett from American Idol as a young Dr. Miranda Bailey. Paris would need to work on her voice (too high) and mannerisms (not nearly ass-kicking enough), but the look is there.

I can't say anyone else would be cast, though Seacrest could play someone who falls ill from too much spray-on tan.

Participatory Fooling

If you've got a minute, head over to teevee.org and check out the TeeVeePedia, their TV-flavored spoof of Wikipedia. Not only is it funny, but there are several opportunities to add and edit stuff youself.

Idol Finalists

OK, we finally caught up to the show where they named the 12 finalists. Looking at how they performed, I'd have to say the most baffling decision was Bucky Covington over Geddeon McKinney. Not that either were gangbusters, but at least Geddion sang in a tolerable fashion.

I was also surprised at how overblown Ayla Brown's crying was. Well, maybe not surprised given how most of the rejected contestants are stage kids enough to put on a brave face. And also not surprised given the way media likes to crank things up to generate sales/ratings. Still, the way it was played up I was expecting a breakdown.

Further disappointment came at the much-reviled Brittenum twins being in the audience. Hope they weren't supposed to be on house arrest. Or maybe I do; a parole violation should keep them from making later "surprise" appearances.

I do know who the first two cuts are (obviously, given previous posts on Kevin Covais), and I'm still waiting for the first "surprise" cut. I'm hoping for Ace Young, as I really didn't need a cleaned-up version of Constantine Maroulis. Heck, I don't even need the original one.

The Internet Just Doesn't Work

So after getting all sorts of national attention, you'd think that the power of VotefortheWorst.com would be at its height, right?

Apparently not, as Kevin Covais was eliminated last night. Let the conspiracy theories begin.

Bat the Brat

Good: Bravo's next season of Celebrity Poker Showdown will be at Harrah's in New Orleans, with the $1 million pot going to hurricane-related charities.

Bad: Phil Hellmuth replaces Phil Gordon as the poker expert. I don't think I could listen to his whiny ass for two hours. Sorry, Bravo. Nice work keeping Foley on, though. Call me when you hit the trifecta and bring in Phil Ivey as co-host.

Democracy Just Doesn't Work

For anyone annoyed by the packaged hypefest that is American Idol, be sure to check out VotefortheWorst.com, a Web site dedicated to furthering the fortunes of the finalist adjudged the worst of the group. For this season, they've tabbed Kevin Covais, whose resemblance to the title character of Chicken Little and willingness to go along with the joke nabbed him the "honor."

The site claims "victories" for the finals runs of Johnathan Stevens and Jasmine Trias in season 3 and Janay Castine and Scott Savol from last season. Hard to say how much impact they really had, as the first two had a "cute" factor helping them (Johnathan with the moms, Jasmine with the teenaged boys), and Savol wasn't that bad of a singer (with him, it was everything else). But with the publicity the site's gotten of late, I would not be surprised if they get more help with pushing Covais deep into the finals.

The site seems primed to replace Covais with Kellie Pickler if he fails, which seems like a cheat given how much the show has pushed her as a finalist. I would suggest Bucky Covington, who doesn't have the Idol "look" (i.e. he looks like an average person) and is not among the best singers.

There should be some sort of Internet-led vote hall of fame for Covais, Kemal Ataturk (who won Time's Person of the Millenium on-line vote) and Hank the Angry Drunken Dwarf (an Internet vote-in for People magazine's list of the most beautiful people.

I'll Tell You What

I'm pretty happy to read that Fox has ordered more King of the Hill for next season. As much of an afterthought as it appears to be on the Fox schedule, it's at least the equal of The Simpsons, which will now spend two more seasons churning out episodes that will make second-rate entries appear brilliant.

Unexpected Catch Phrase Creep

The school I work at held a career fair yesterday. The heading on the flying advertising the event?

"Suit up!"

For all the success How I Met Your Mother has had this season, I wasn't expecting that. I figured the dating lemon law that Barney came up with would make the jump to real life first.

Speaking of Barney, there was a recent episode that gave more of his back-story, and now I'm confused. I was under the impression that Ted and Barney knew each other in college, but this episode mentioned how Barney used to be some hippie-type until his girlfriend left him for a guy who inspired Barney's current persona. Ted didn't seem to know Barney was like this, or at least the episode didn't explain that he did. This strikes me as more of a continuity problem than the Belle & Sebastian thing, but given how closely I follow the show (i.e. not that close) I may be mistaken as to how Ted and Barney originally met.

Whammied

I don't have much to say about Peter Tomarken's death in a plane crash yesterday. Bad enough to have it happen, worse that it was a volunteer medical flight (not exactly being how you'd want to get paid back for charity).

If you've not seen Big Bucks, the special about the Press Your Luck "scandal" involving Michael Larson's memorization-abetted windfall, I'd suggest checking the GSN listings. It's sure to be re-aired in the coming days, and is pretty interesting.

Fox: All Idol All the Time

OK, that's a bit of an exaggeration; I think there are still a couple of days where American Idol isn't on Fox's schedule. For now.

Long-time readers of the main blog know I've had an Idol thing from the start, and have recapped episodes in reasonable detail (which explains why I have so few long-time readers). That's waned over the last couple of seasons, and continues to now, given how the show has become predictable in its approach and how its "stars" haven't quite lit up the music world as predicted, Kelly Clarkson notwithstanding.

(NOTE: I know Carrie Underwood is doing pretty well, but mostly within the country genre. If she ever crosses over to pop success, we'll talk.)

This season kicked off with seven audition stops, which were good for about a month of shows that increasingly cover the bad and ugly rather than the good. For next season, I expect nine audition stops that'll provide show material through the end of February.

Then it was "Hollywood" week (though they seem to be closer to Hollywood now than the season they spent the week in what looked like a Century City warehouse), where they pared 175 contestants to 24. There's been some inflation in the number of semi-finalists, too. I figure next year it'll be 28, taking the semifinals through April.

I did watch a reasonable amount of the shows about Hollywood week, and was aghast at the amount of screen time given to Derrell and Terrell Brittenum, a set of twins who, unlike every other set of twins to audition, were sent through to the next round together. It doesn't help that they are incredibly obnoxious drama queens whose attitude far outpaces their talent. The saving grace, as you may have heard, is that they were both picked up for a variety of felonies of the fraud and identity theft varieties.

You can look for them in the upcoming CourtTV series Prison Idol.

Anyway, from watching the shows for Hollywood week this year it seems like there was less everything - less time seeing people sing, less time showing the conflicts when contestants were preparing for group singings, etc. Not sure if that's a factor of the number of contestants, the filler material of the contestants playing tourist, or commercials. Probably all three.

But now we're down to 16, as 8 semifinalists have been cut. No real surprises yet, other than one contestant's Maxim photos coming too late to save her from a brutal first week of competition. People to look out for:

* Kellie Pickler, who is a combination of Carrie Underwood (looks) and Fantasia Barrino (home state and tragic back-story). The show spent a lot of time hammering away at her background, so she's likely a lock for the finals.

* Taylor Hicks, who stands out not only for his head of prematurely greying hair but for being Ray Charles reincarnated, down to the body sway. He's my favorite because he's so incongruous.

* Paris Bennett, who may be a little too comfortable given that her grandmother is some well-known gospel singer (OK, not well-known to me, but Randy Jackson freaked out a bit in a fanboy way when he saw the grandmother at the original audition). Paris can at least sing.

* Ace Young, who I learned today is dating Essence Atkins, who I'd never heard of, a fact easily explained by her being a lead on the UPN sitcom Half & Half. He's apparently been on the show and even sang a little. He's like Constantine from last year, but with better grooming and less leering (and, thankfully, less eye makeup).

* And, finally, Ayla Brown, who I've saved for the end given that she's a local, from Wrentham (best known, probably, for its outlet mall). In many ways she's the anti-Pickler, both in looks (Brown has, fittingly, darker hair and skin tone) and background - she went to private school and landed a basketball scholarship to Boston College. On top of that, her mom is a local TV news reporter and anchor, while her dad is a state senator and likely lieutenant governor candidate.

(This led to a funny moment during the show where they reduced the field to 24, where they showed Seacrest asking Brown's father a question, but cut his response with an abrupt edit, apparently in fear of having to give other candidates equal time.)

"Conventional wisdom" (which applies to this show how?) suggests she won't win, but the judges seem to be warming to her. I'm still on the fence, given that her dad's a Republican and she's joining up with that school in Newton.

So there you go. A post almost as long and tedious as an episode of the show.