On the plus side, no Vanilla Ice

I seem to have been hallucinating during last week's episode of Hit Me Baby 1 More Time. I heard that the winners from past weeks would return, that there'd be a couple of surprises, and we'd wrap this thing in some sort of gala fashion. Instead, we got another regular episode.

Five performers, ten songs, one confused viewing audience. Good job, NBC! I can't imagine why you guys nose-dived this past season.

Anyway, we wound up getting music from Juice Newton, Shannon, Animotion, PM Dawn, and Missing Persons. PM Dawn won (which seemed right), breaking the streak of the last act winning (given that it was Missing Persons, not that big of a surprise). Animotion gets the Stop Hitting Yourself prize for worst performance, as they creaked through their hit "Obsession" and absolutely crapped on Dirty Vegas's "Days Go By."

While I thought the male singer in Animotion looked like the love child of the stylist guy who stars in Bravo's Blow Out and Joe Isuzu, the wife nailed it when she commented that the woman in the group came off like Molly Shannon playing the woman from Animotion. Who knows, maybe it was Molly Shannon?

Given the stress on this being the season finale, we can likely look forward to more of this crap in the near future. Given the barrel-scraping put in for this episode (neither the wife or I could place Shannon until the host mentioned her hit song, "Let the Music Play"), I don't know how far they can take this without bringing in groups who make '80s compilations because no one can find their members to deal with royalties.

Thinking along those lines, though, my dream second season premiere would feature The Scorpions, The Outfield, Aztec Camera, Haircut 100, and Gino Vanelli. Who would be in yours?