So Donald Trump recently blamed "confusion" for the ratings problem the original version of The Apprentice is having, saying that the Martha viewers caused this "confusion" and that her ratings tailspin is causing the problem with the mothership - which The Donald claims he predicted.
Just as he predicted he could take the USFL into the fall and run profitable casinos in Atlantic City, I'm sure.
My theory is a little different. I think the ratings are down because The Apprentice is formulaic and boring. The problems?
1. There are too many contestants. It takes a good three weeks to get the names down, and even then some of those names belong to the crazies who get fired early. We're six weeks in and I still can't tell most of the guys apart.
2. The tasks are repetitive. Even someone like me, who never had an inkling to go to B-school, now gets the idea that branding is important. Why? Because every task seems to revolve around brand identity and marketing.
3. The shilling is irritating. And this is why we have these marketing tasks - there's a sponsor to plug. Whether it's going to Best Buy to get gadgets or taking the kids to see the surprisingly difficult-to-pronounce Zathura, the tasks are less about finding business leaders than it is an informerical interspersed with people yelling at each other. Yeah, that's going to get me to part with my cash.
4. The hype is, well, typical. NBC has a long and dark history of over-hyping episodes, and every time we hear about an UNBELIEVABLE and UNPRECEDENTED boardroom where DONALD WILL BE QUESTIONED and SOMETHING THAT NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE HAPPENS, we get deflated when we see what actually happened - something that can never live up to the hyperbole.
5. The rewards are stupid. You made a great parade float - go cut a song with Wyclef Jean. Huh?
6. The duplication is overkill. A spin-off with Martha was actually a good idea. Running it at the same time as the original wasn't. And spending more than five minutes on a catch-phrase wouldn't have hurt, either.
So how do we fix this?
1. Fewer contestants. Cut it back to 14, and either don't take some of the marginal folks or save them for the next installment. If we get to know the players sooner, we're more likely to stay interested.
2. Mix up the tasks. The first season had some different tasks - negotiate for deals, sell water, etc. Do more things like that. And while you're at it, maybe scrap the team set up for the first couple of weeks. Throw in some individual challenges, let us see how the contestants work on their own and not when they're trying to manage people who spend the whole task planning a boardroom strategy.
3. More TV show, less product placement. There's already advertising during the show. Let's stop having the product placement followed by the ads followed by the Yahoo! tie-in. People are hip to this and it'd be refreshing to see a move away from it.
4. Tone down the hype. If NBC won't let you, move. Seriously, find someone who can promote a show without running it into the ground.
5. Scrap the rewards. They bring nothing to the show. Spend that time with more task footage - it's so heavily edited to being with (given how much time they have to cover) that a couple more minutes may not add much. But it couldn't hurt.
6. Alternate Donald with another host, and rotate that host. You keep Donald fresh, don't have another host who may challenge him in stature, and you get to mix things up based on the new host's area of expertise.
The one thing I would not change - Carolyn and George. In fact, give them the time saved by cutting the rewards.
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