The End is Nigh: Awards Season

We got to whet our appetite for the Oscars with last night's 3.5 hour Grammy telecast, which I suppose isn't derided for its length given that we get live musical performances rather than stultifying montages. That being said, I think there was certainly room to trim a half-hour off of the show. But I'll get to that.

Not much notable about the show per se, other than it was a very good night to be a Dixie Chick or Mary J. Blige. Speaking of the former, how did I not know that Natalie Maines is married to Adrian Pasdar? That seems like something I should know.

Anyway, things I liked about the program:

* The Police reunion was entertaining enough, and there wasn't a lute in sight.

* No host, rather voice-overs linking presenters. The Oscars does this from time to time, and I still think it's an idea worth pursuing. Though it can be awkward, as seen when Scarlett Johansson just kind of grabbed the microphone and told everyone the show was over.

* Outside of Mary J. Blige reading the phone book, acceptance speeches were, for the most part, short and coherent. The Dixie Chicks seemed to run out of things to say (ironically enough), but at least they were smart enough to make notes during the show.

* For the first time in what seems like forever, Neil Portnow, the president of NARAS, didn't demonize unpaid music downloads during his speech. Rather, he focused on what his organization was doing to promote music in public schools, a topic of importance that didn't drag the show down.

* There was a smaller stage from the main stage where some of the presenatations took place, closer to the nominees. It was a much more elegant solution than anything the Oscars came up with to shorten the walk to claim an award. I assume it's easier to set up on the blank canvas of the Staples Center than in the Kodak Theater.

* The awards crawl, while sometimes moving too fast, is a nice way to recognize all the winners. Not only does it highlight some categories I never knew existed (Hawaiian music?), but you get to see some oddities, like Jimmy Carter bagging a spoken word Grammy for Our Endangered Values. Of course, this was also the mechanism by which we learned that the Black Eyed Peas won a Grammy for "My Humps."

Less entertaining:

* Given that they do this show live every year, some of the transitions to and from commercials were rough, especially towards the end of the show.

* And given that the Staples Center has hosted the show since 2000, can we do something about the sound? It was, for my taste, too uneven for a music awards program.

* We got three songs performed in honor of Don Henley, who is not dead. We got one song for James Brown. They closed the honor roll of the dead by draping his cape over a spotlit microphone, which was nice, but I'd have rather seen three songs in memory of the Godfather of Soul and one song for the guy who gave us "All She Wants to Do is Dance." If that.

* Scarlett Johansson is recording an album? That trumps the "My Humps" thing as the least positive news of the evening.

* The "My Grammy Moment" promotion, where one unsigned singer got to perform a duet with Justin Timberlake, was a nice performance, but seemed kind of underwhelming as a concept.

* I'd have liked to have seen more singing from Chris Brown, whose performance was mostly dancing. Though it did mark a clean break between him and his co-performers, Smokey Robinson and Lionel Ritchie.

* Speaking of Smokey, he needs to lay off the Botox. I think he blinked three times during his entire song. And even then, it looked like he was blinking in slo-mo.

* Did I mention that "My Humps" won a Grammy?

* Oh, that half-hour savings. I'd have cut the Henley thing down to one song, dropped at least one promo for the "My Grammy Moment," and have let Smokey do a song without the tenuous tie-in with Ritchie and Brown. I'd have also cut the performance of "Hips Don't Lie," though I'm biased here as there are few, if any, artists I care for less than Shakira. Take out some of the promos for shows CBS is going to cancel anyways (hello, Rules of Engagement) and there you go.

I Am What I Hate

Tonight brings us an hour-long supply of the TV crack that is the American Idol audition shows (it'd be two hours but for the State of the Union address, which may be the only good thing that comes of it). If you watched at least 12 seconds of Fox programming over the last 4 days, you know that last week's two audition episodes brought in over 80 million viewers. I'm not sure if that number inspires more awe or sadness, though it certainly brings a healthy dose of both.

I don't care for the lengthy audition shows, with their stampede of tone deaf losers and various montages that apparently someone finds funny. The whole thing ages quickly, and while that gives some insight to what the judges go through, what airs isn't smart enough to draw that distinction. Rather, let's pair the fat kid and the guy who looks like a bush baby together as friends!

Even so, I did find myself enjoying last week's four hours of warbling somewhat entertaining. Maybe it was the dawn of a new season, maybe I was having a reaction to something I ate, but my irritation at this part of the process (if I can use that term in this situation) was markedly lower than in the past.

Of course, it could all be another sign that I'm going a little soft in the melon. Like your average American Idol viewer.

What I Did on my Winter Vacation

One of the good things about working in education is the roughly two weeks we get off for the winter holidays. As you can imagine, I spent a not insignificant portion of that time in front of the TV, rotting my brain as surely as all of the Christmas treats were rotting my teeth.

Very little of this viewing was actualy on holiday-related fare. I do have the hour-long How the Grinch Stole Christmas special on the DVR, but I did not partake of Frosty, Rudolph, or TBS's annual 24 hours of A Christmas Story. I tended to favor bowl season over the holiday season, with more time watching minor college football bowls - and their attendant fifth-string crews and repetitive tourist promotional ads - than was strictly necessary.

Spent a little time catching up with Jericho, though not all of the episodes were available through Comcast On Demand. They are available through CBS's Innertube service, so I'll likely fire that up at some point. It's still not the best show - folks in Jericho seem exceedingly slow at times - but it's diverting enough.

We also blew through most of our DVR backlog, getting caught up pretty much with every show we regularly follow - just in time for the return of 24, American Idol, and (in February) Lost. We'll be up over 90 percent capacity in no time.

One new show I sampled was Top Chef, Bravo's unscripted cooking competition. It was OK. I think I'd have to watch more of it - or at least start at the beginning - to really get into it. That being said, the challenges are interesting, even if the drama between contestants seems a little forced at times.

Sticking with food, I also watched the Las Vegas and New Zealand episodes of No Reservations, and found myself less annoyed with Tony Bourdain than normal. I imagine part of this is the production staff sanding off some of the rough edges, and certainly part is Bourdain's willingness to have a laugh at his own expense. Both help soften his usually annoying New York exterior. It also helps that the show manages to balance food and travel better than most shows that try to combine the two. Now if I can only talk a well-know Kiwi chef into inviting me to his next beachside cookout...

America's Next Top Zzzzzzzzzzzz

I was trading emails with a friend who also watches America's Next Top Model, and she raised a good point - this may have been the most boring season (er, cycle) so far. For the record, CariDee English proved most fierce in taking the title, making her the second champion from the heretofore unknown model breeding ground of North Dakota. And while she's not the dullest of the winners - paging Naima Mora! - the overall run of shows was not particularly interesting.

Why? Well, I've got some theories.

Too much crazy - while Tyra stated in a previous cycle that she didn't want to have each year's group include a bitchy African-American, she's never managed not to cast someone for that role. This time it was Monique, who didn't do quite as well as past archetypes Robyn, Eva, or Camille as far as the modeling went, but she out-classed them all in the crazy. Part of it was hidden by the usual narcissim and immaturity that these contestants have by the truckload, but when she started rubbing things related to her private area on other contestants and their stuff, she vaulted way over the line and into crazy country. Seriously, I hope she's getting some help.

Anyway, she got the gate pretty early in the competition, and while she was clearly not the best contestant there, I have to think that the folks running things decided that she needed to go quickly.

Not enough crazy - that being said, without Monique the best the show could come up with was all of the contestants hating on Melrose, who combined Lisa's know-it-all tendencies with a frustating ability to take good pictures. This season was much less catty, and not a single skank ho poured beer on anyone's weave.

Speaking of beer...

Not enough substances - while I'm not generally in favor of using alcohol as a production tool, it certainly does liven things up a bit. This season was particularly devoid of drunken model wannabes, though it seems like more of the contestants this time around were under 21.

Given how little we saw of the contestants smoking, I wonder if the CW is tighter about showing this than UPN was (thinking it'd be a legacy of the WB and their focus on teen viewers). Then again, the one season where I really remember a lot of contestants smoking was season five, whcih is also the one that (to my mind) included the most drinking.

Not enough final episode - one hour isn't long enough for the finale. There's plenty of stuff between the Cover Girl shoot, the final runway show, the two judging and elimination sessions, and whatever other background stuff that's there to go to 90 minutes or two hours. I say this with a little trepidation, fearing that they'd go the American Idol finale route, where they try to put two pounds of content into a half-ton bag. Heck, make it two separate one-hour episodes, even.

Not enough follow-up - Brooke blew off graduation for the show. Anchal has crippling insecurity based on her past appearance. Michelle might be gay. CariDee tried to kill herself once. All interesting topics of varying seriousness, all fodder for some in-depth TV. Unless you're this show, in which case there's no examination, just labeling that's useful for categorizing - and perhaps eliminating - contestants. On the other hand, coming out or discussing your suicide attempt on national TV probably isn't something that Michelle or CariDee were looking for, so the show isn't necessarily at fault.

Not enough change - really, the show is getting a little formulaic, from the initial winnowing process to the makeover (and the contestant who cries over her hair) to the interview and acting portions to the trip abroad and the go-sees and such. I'd really like to see them mix it up in the future, even if it's just to re-order some of these common elements.

The real wrench in the works for the next season is the lack of writers, given that the producers fired them after they went on strike related to getting representation from the Writers Guild of America. So it may not be the best time for them to shake things up, content-wise. So we may be in for more snores.

What Was That? Good and Bad Edition

Playing some catch-up on TV, and came across both the good and bad of TV shows that make you ask, "What was that?"

Good: Gordon Ramsay's F Word. It's part cooking show, part restaurant reality show, part talk show, and wholly odd. The gist of things (to the extent I can tell) is that Ramsay has a new restaurant called The F Word, in which he has two contestants square off as assistants for the meal prepared during the show. At the end, he picks one of the two to continue on. I'm still not clear what the last remaining contestant will get, though I assume it's some sort of regular job in one of Ramsay's kitchens.

The meal this week was a sauteed mushrooms in pasta starter which looked great and a venison with a red wine-chocolate sauce that seemed a little over the top. For dessert, Ramsay passes on the show's competition to go head-to-head with a celebrity to make dish of the celebrity's choice. On the episode I saw, some kid from Eastenders went with rhubarb crumble, and lost pretty soundly with his simple version.

Inbetween all the food, Ramsay spends some time chatting with a food critic, and they talk about the food and such, with their discussion leading to a variety of pre-taped segements, such as Ramsay teaching a woman who doesn't cook how to make a fish pie and the critic embarking on a quest to raise his sperm count (for reasons which, thankfully, don't seem to have anything to do with food).

As you can imagine, the focus here is more on Ramsay the celebrity than as the chef, most obvious in the way that the recipies are given scant notice (and even then are played with an obnoxious musical background that also serves as the show's theme song). But it's still kind of fun, in an odd way. I don't think the show will win Ramsay many converts, but as someone who enjoys his other shows, it's entertaining.

Also, for all the use of The F Word, Ramsay swore very little.

Bad: Show Me the Money, the cacophonic mish-mash hosted by William Shatner. Did you ever see the Friends episode where Joey is trying out to be the host of a game show called Bamboozled, whose rules are so arcane that they aren't figured out until right before his audition? Or the recent episode of How I Met Your Mother where Barney wins money on a game involving cards, changing seats, a money wheel, and guessing which woman is holding a jelly bean? If so, you've gotten a pretty good introduction to Show Me the Money, which seemed to be making up rules as it went along.

Here's the best I could figure out: the contestant gets to choose from among three questions starting with the same word (they can pass the first two but then must take the third, a concept that upon its initial description made it sound like the contestant could only pass on two questions in total). The contestant gives and answer, and then picks one of 13 dancers (yes, dancers), who opens a scroll to show the question value (or a stopper card, which apparently ends things). We then find out if the contestant's answer is right or wrong, and the question amount is added or subtracted to their total. Once the contestant gets six correct or incorrect answers, the game is over.

I think.

I will say this - the questions are a little harder than 1 vs. 100, and they do not present multiple choice answers. On the other hand, there is so much noise and distraction that it's hard to tell exactly what I'm supposed to be focusing on at any one time. Throw in the rube they found to be the first contestant - a fey Oklahoman who brought his "murse" on stage with him - and there's a level of stupidity to this show that is breathtaking. And considering how well Boston Legal seems to be going, I'm unsure why Shatner got himself involved with this train wreck. Maybe he misses the flash set and ability to dress up that he had when he was on Iron Chef USA.

Anyway, I don't even know if this show is even still airing. There's a small, evil part of me that hopes so.

Making a List

Just in time for the holidays, TVLand is making a list - of the top 100 catch-phrases in TV history, just in time to make a special out of it. And to get idiots on the Internet to talk about it.

With most lists of this type, my biggest reservations are for the most current entries. While I still enjoy How I Met Your Mother - even though with the removal of Ted's future kids, it sounds like future Ted is talking to himself - I don't think that "Suit up!" is necessarily in the top 100. It's more deserving than "Tell me what you don't like about yourself" from Nip/Tuck, which is both not that catchy and way too generic. I'm also not sure how William Shatner screaming his own character's name on Boston Legal cracked the list, even if it is funny.

(I'd also note that "Welcome to the O.C., bitch" would be better on a list of top 100 TV phrases turned into mocking or ironic restatements.)

Not surprisingly, the better catch-phrases from the current aren't from scripted prime-time programming. "The tribe has spoken" and "You're fired!" both fit pretty well; "Here it is, your moment of Zen" less so based on not being that catch-phrasey.

Not surprisingly, the '70s is most represented on the list with 26 entries. Saturday Night Live has six entries. And odd repeat is "Hey hey hey," which is in from both Fat Albert and What's Happening. They're said differently, of course, but it's funny seeing them next to each other like that. Throw in "Heh heh" from Beavis and Butthead and you get the feeling that the list should have been arranged chronologically.

With the given list, I'm going to guess that "Do you believe in miracles?" will top the list once it's presented in order. Also not much of a catch phrase, but memorable nevertheless. My dark horse is "I want my MTV"; it not only became a catch-phrase of sorts, it also marks a generational change in how entertainment was presented (for better or worse).

Anyway, suggestions for replacements are welcome. To start, I would happily replace any of the current clunkers with "Whoa nelly!" or some other oft-repeated nugget from Keith Jackson.

Arrivederci, Roma

For reasons that I still do not completely comprehend, the wife decided to include The Bachelor: Rome in our viewing when the new season started. I don't recall her being particularly interested in the show in the past (she's not watched it regularly, at least) and I've never watched the show.

Until now, of course.

I will admit that, as with pretty much any unscripted show, it's hard not to get pulled into choosing favorites. But it's also not hard to see why this concept has seen better days. I'm already sick of the sheer artifice of it all, from the dates that are either so busy or so over the top that it's hard to see where anyone is making a real connection, to the rote rites of the rose ceremony. I also don't find the bachelor, an Italian "prince" who grew up in the US and speaks Italian about as well as I do, to be that interesting. From looking at past bachelors, that's not surprising; there's a bland sameness to them all.

In this series, there's also been the use of that unscripted favorite, bringing back a particularly unsavory contestant for future hijinx. In this case, it's a Houston "socialite" who always wears a tiara and thinks that, because she's rich and from a privileged background, that she's perfect princess material. It doesn't help her case that she constantly looks stoned and (in an odd juxtaposition) acts like she's off her meds. I fear that she's going to become the next Bachelorette. Not that it'll matter, as I'll fry our DVR rather than let the wife record it (not that I think she would, she can't stand this contestant, either).

Anyway, I'm not sure what ABC is getting out of the continued existence of The Bachelor. They're getting reasonable female demo numbers (and growth out of Wife Swap - but how could they not grow out of that?), but in all the show looks like the middle of a crap sandwich.

Of course, What About Brian got a full-season order. I imagine they're using a liberal amount of mustard to get this sandwich down.

When Smart Turns Stoopid

I'm two or three weeks behind on Studio 60, having just watched "The Wrap Party" over the weekend. I was stunned in this episode to find that a show from alleged genius Aaron Sorkin would have two of the stupidest moments on TV this season, both involving the character Tom Jeter giving his parents a tour of the studio:

1. During his discourse, we learn that Tom's parents have never heard of the Abbott and Costello routine "Who's on First?" It also appears that they've never heard of Abbott and Costello. Way to use the least amount of straw to create your men, Sorkin.

2. At an especially exasperating moment of the tour, when Tom says they're standing in the middle of the "Paris Opera House of American comedy," his dad shoots back "your brother Mark is standing in the middle of Afghanistan!" While I can believe that the dad would disapprove of Tom's job - especially when his brother is getting shot at halfway across the world - having it come out this was is just ridiculous.

There was also a bludgeon of a subplot involving a blacklisted writer, which I can marginally forgive thanks to Eli Wallach's performance. If this episode is indicative of how the show is a metaphor for itself - something that's "smart" and will "save" TV - I will happily sign off on whatever Endemol gameshow NBC has waiting in the wings to replace it.

UnListed

I finally got around to watching the one episode run of Fox's The Rich List last night, and while it wasn't the horror show I expected, I can't say I'm going to miss it.

I did like the premise - two teams of two strangers each "bid" on the number of entries they can correctly provide for a list (such as "Tom Cruise movies"). The team whose bid is accepted by the other team must then meet their bid. Failure to do so gives a win to the other team, the team that wins two out of three goes on to the actual Rich List, where for every three items they can name from a list, they get a certain amount of money (with an error earning you nothing).

So while the premise was fine, everything else was either derivative, actively annoying, or both. In the former case I'd put the set, the music, and the lighting, which was all taken from the new game show playbook of space age over-dramatic hyperkinetic nonsense.

Falling in the both category was the host and the contestants. The host, an Anglo-Irish presenter named Eamonn Holmes, had an Irish accent of someone who is trying not to have one. He'd have been better off in full brogue. His attempts to inject drama into the proceedings fell flat, though that was only partially his fault.

Which leads us to the contestants, who fall into that slightly dopey category that's all the rage now. This works on shows like Deal or No Deal because of the time spent talking to and working on the contestant. It's easy to milk drama out of contestants when you spend time messing with their head, and then introducing family, friends, and celebrities to do the same. When you've got minimal chatter along those lines, the dopiness of the contestants stands out. This is a problem when the show is more knowledge-based.

Anyway, if you didn't see it you didn't miss too much. Though it'd still be better than the continued foisting of The O.C. on the public.

Tritter is the new Vogler

I can't say I'm particularly thrilled about the current House plot line where police detective Michael Tritter (played by David Morse) is investigating House for his practices relative to Vicodin. To me it's playing off very much like the first season story Edward Vogler story line. Or at least an attempt to do that story line better.

There are some differences between Tritter and Vogler. Tritter has the power of the state to back his menace; the ability to freeze Wilson's bank accounts or send House to prison take things up a notch from getting fired. Tritter is also much more of a House-like character, between the overuse of medication (nicotine gum rather than Vicodin) and the shared belief that everybody lies.

I suppose this should make me more interested, in that we get to compare House battling a law enforcement variant of himself. But to me, it's playing more like the bully versus bully confrontation that marked the Vogler plot. I know that they need to run stories like this to give some foil to House that he can't run roughshod over, but I'd like a little more nuance.

(Unrelated note: David Morse is from Hamilton, Massachusetts, one town over from where I grew up. He may be the most famous Hamilton native ever.)

Lost getting lost

Given the slow pace with which Lost forwards its plot, it's hard to have more than a week off between episodes, as the momentum built over time by new episodes dissipates quickly.

You can imagine, then, how things are going to go after tonight, as the next new episode will air in February 2007. In its place (for now, at least) ABC is airing the new Taye Diggs drama Day Break, which is like the movie Groundhog Day, but with more homicide and shots of the lead not wearing a shirt.

I know ABC is hoping that Lost's audience will be interested in this novel show, and follow it to wherever its new home will be, but is it smart to take one of your top shows off the air for months when there are other nights whose programming is languishing (hello, Monday).

There's also the problem of the shrinking Lost audience, which is down significantly from this time last season. After waiting all summer for new episodes that only started airing last month, will viewers tolerate what amounts to an Indian summer for the show? I will, because I'm a sucker. ABC better hope there are plenty of suckers in the Lost audience.

New on TV: 1 v. 100

New from the folks who brought us Deal or No Deal is this game show that takes a variant on the whole "wisdom of crowds" thing. One contestant answers trivia questions, and if they answer correctly, they get money for each member of the "mob" - the 100 people referenced in the title - that got the question wrong. The money - and theoretically the question difficulty - goes up by round. Contestants also have two "helps" - one allows the contestant to see how many people in the mob gave the same answer, the other allows the contestant to talk to two individuals in the mob, one of whom picked the right answer and one who did not.

The contestant can opt to walk after each round, and if they get a question wrong, the money they earned is distributed to all the remaining mob contestants. Folks in the mob get to carry over from contestant to contestant, creating an opportunity for a mob member to become a semi-regular. Ken Jennings was in the mob last week (and I assume will be in there tonight); make sure to tune in next week when King of LaPlaca James Dinan will be in the mob!

No one is going to mistake this show for Jeopardy! or Millionaire. The questions seem secondary to playing on the emotions of the contestant (and even the mob, which is quite excitable), which underscores its ties to Deal or No Deal. My concern is that I'll have the same reaction to this show as I did to Deal - initial interest followed by apathy when the episodes get repetitive.

Bob Saget is fine as host. Can't say much more than that.

All in all, it's a decent hour of entertainment for Friday night. I'd be happier if it were on another night, but I'd rather not have NBC use it like Deal, so I'll live with it.

New on TV : Six Degrees

The title pretty much gives you the premise of Six Degrees - a sextet of New Yorkers have their lives intertwine in ways unexpected and (in some cases) unknown as the living embodiment of the "six degrees of separation" between any two people. What it doesn't do is explain how implausible this set up can get.

For example, take the new friendship of Whitney (Bridget Moynihan) and Laura (Hope Davis). They meet at a nail salon, discover that they both attended the same concert over a decade ago, and now they're BFF. I don't doubt that some sort of relationship can come from this sort of chance meeting, but what they've developed in one or two episodes would, in real life, take months.

I have a similar issue with most of the new connections on the show, to varying degrees. The budding romance between a public defender (Carlos, played by Jay Hernandez) and a former client (Mae, played by Erika Christensen) seems the most normal, while the working relationship between Whitney and the recently dried out photographer Steve (Campbell Scott) is bizarre at best. The individual story lines don't suffer from this that much, and a couple are quite interesting, such as the frosty relationship between limo driver Damian (Dorian Missick) and his thug brother.

But it's all acted pretty well, so if the writing can make better sense out of these relationships I think there's room to improve. Given how badly it's bleeding viewers out of Grey's Anatomy, it had better improve soon.

New on TV: Heroes

After watching the pilot, I had to agree with the points made in the TeeVee review of the show. I am happy to say that the show has improved over the last couple of episodes, as the show has becomes less expositionally-focused and the characters have become more fully developed.

That doesn't mean I've become that much more interested in them. I still find Milo Ventimiglia's character irritating, and I'm fairly bored with Ali Larter's character. The revelation that one of the heroes is the adopted daughter of the guy who is hunting the heroes has spiced up that story line a bit, though as the TV Without Pity recapper has noted, there's a little bit too much subtext in their father-daughter relationship to sit comfortably.

Hiro, the Japanese time-and-space bending office worker is still the most enjoyable of the bunch. I was pissed at the show for putting what might have been the most ham-handed product placement in TV history in his story-line, but we've moved through it for now (though I assume several glamor shots of said product in future episodes). The mind-reading LA cop has also become a fave, and for pretty much the same reason as Hiro. He's confused at his new ability, but he embraces it - perhaps a little too much, as it seems like he's gotten himself into some trouble.

I'm still not quite on board with some of the overblown narration, which is very reminiscent of Revelations (not surprisingly, as some of the staff from that miniseries is on this show). I'm hoping this will become more sensical as we move forward, but I'm steeling myself for an entire season of proto-mytho-scientific mumbo jumbo to open and close episdoes. I'm trying not to take it out on the narrating character, Mohinder Suresh (the son of a professor who was trying to create an algorithm to find and track down people with heroic changes), but it's hard. His new, chrirpy sidekick isn't helping, either, nor will the eventual discovery that she's working for the bad guys.

Anyway, for X-Men lite this isn't a bad show. Just a little dour for the start of the week.

Did anyone notice?

I didn't notice this, but the CW has more or less swapped their Sunday and Monday night line-ups. Everybody Hates Chris, All of Us, Girlfriends, and The Game move to Monday, while Runaway and 7th Heaven will follow the America's Next Top Model re-run on Sunday.

I don't think this will make a tremendous difference. I'm not sure if the sitcoms will make a dent opposite the tough CBS line-up, and the dramas move into one of the tougher two hour blocks on TV. What will make a difference will be better programming, though I think that's going to be a long-term issue.

New on TV: Jericho

I was home on Columbus Day, and while flipping around discovered that CBS had episodes of various shows for viewing through Comcast's On Demand service. The only new show on offer was Jericho, and they thoughtfully had all three episodes available. So, like a sucker, I watched them.

This isn't a very good show. It's not the fault of the actors, nor is it for lack of a good (if derivative) idea. They could very easily have come up with a solid if unexciting drama in the vein of NCIS or The Unit.

But what keeps Jericho down is some very stupid writing. For example: in a town of 5000 where everyone seemingly knows everyone else, how is it that a main character doesn't realize that the two guys in the sheriff's car are bascially strangers? And why is pretty much everything that happens telegraphed by some character (for example, a guy who says "I hear something!" when there is a very audbile something happening that was planned for in a previous scene)? And why does Pamela Reed, an actress of some repute, only get to repeat the same three lines and hug family members?

There is room for some complexity with the characters, but we mostly get stereotype, from the prodigal son returned (Skeet Ulrich doing his best Jack Sheppard impersonation, minus some of the rage) to the city slicker stuck in town to the loser teenager in love with a pretty, popular girl. They'd better start developing some backstory to these people, otherwise it's going to get duller in a hurry. As annoying as the flashbacks can be on Lost, you get a clear indication of their usefulness when compared to this show, where conflicts and feelings have, to date, been depicted in one dimension.

Not that I'm going to stop watching. I'm a sucker for shows like this. Heck, I'm still watching Vanished, so you can see the depths of my problem.

(Full disclosure: I worked on and off with the mother of Sprague Grayden (who is in the cast) when I was substitute teaching. Though based on what I've written, I think the idea of a conflict of interest is pretty well shot.)

New on TV: Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip

It's got an all-star cast, strong writing, top-shelf directing, and is likely the tightest show on TV, never mind among new shows

So why am I still on the fence about Studio 60?

There are some minor things - I'm not a huge Amanda Peet fan, for example - but I think it boils down to three things:

1. The hyper-focus on religion. While I have no doubt that religion is a major issue in the TV industry, the three episodes that have aired so far have been very focused on religious issues, from the sketch that precipitated everything ("Crazy Christians," which we never get to see) to the resultant problems with affiliates that seem to have righted themselves by the second episode helmed by Matt and Danny (the writer and director played by Matthew Perry and Bradley Whitford). The focus even spreads into other sketches that we see, such as "Science Schmience," a game show parody about the clash of science and religion. Which leads to my second point:

2. The show within a show doesn't seem that funny. We don't get to see to much of the actual Studo 60, but what they've shown is less than appealing. Take the sketch mentioned above; it has six contestants in order to include all major religions, but when have you seen a Jeopardy-style game show with six contestants? It doesn't help that the host is basically giving science lessons while asking questions. It's over-written and not worth the laughs the audience is giving.

Then there's the cold open from Matt and Danny's first show, a rewriting of some Gilbert and Sullivan. While I'm glad that Aaron Sorkin was able to get his G&S fixation out of the way early, it wasn't all that funny. It was amusing, which I suppose is fitting for G&S, but not the sort of funny we're built up to expect. There's also a new recurring sketch based on commedia dell'arte, which just seems strange.

3. I'd like more about the actual show and its cast and crew, and a little less about the NBS executives. Steven Weber does a good job as the network chairman, and even though I don't care for Amanda Peet, she's doing a decent job as the new NBS president (even though she was a little too omniscient in the pilot). But I'd rather have more development on plot lines involving the cast and crew. We're getting some of this - one of the leading cast members is Matt's ex-girlfriend, and there's a rift between Matt and the show's less quality-focused writers (though that seems to be coming to an end), but I'd like more. I suppose that will come with time.

I'm going to stick with the show, as there is a lot going for it. I just hope Sorkin et. al. make the show a little less focused on issues and more on the people.

New on TV: Ugly Betty

I wasn't planning on watching this, but the wife wanted to, and it is on before Grey's Anatomy. So we tuned in, and the best I can say is that the show has some promise.

America Ferarra does a nice job as Betty, staying just enough to the right side of the line where her clueless optimism is both funny and endearing. Vanessa Williams is appropriately over the top as a vindictive magazine exec gunning to take down Betty's boss (the mag's editor in chief). I'm also a fan of Betty's fashion-loving pre-teen nephew, just because his interest in fashion is so unusual. There's also a good recurring cameo by Salma Hayek as an actress in an actual telenovela.

The show keeps several touches that point to its beginnings as a telenovela, and for the most part balances soapiness with humor. What I didn't care for was the fairly predictable plot - the magazine needs an idea for a major cosmetics ad, and guess whose idea saves the day? - though if the show keeps going, I'd expect things to get better here. At least I hope it does, as the wife liked it and I guess we'll keep watching.

New on TV: Vanished

I finally got around to watching the first episode of this new Fox drama that combines Without a Trace and The DaVinci Code when a US Senator's wife disappears, and the last person she was with - a guy posing as a concierge - is found dead with a cryptic tattoo on his hand that was inked after he died. Spooky!

The pilot was sufficiently engrossing, though I did have a nit to pick regarding the FBI agent in charge. He's on his first big case since losing a kidnapping victim; the captor was shot by a sniper, and rather than run to him to make sure he didn't release the button that would set off the victim's explosives-laden vest, the agent runs towards the victim. With predictably firey results. That doesn't make the guy seem like the super-agent he's supposed to be.

I have a more significant issue with Rebecca Gayheart's reporter character. I assume she's supposed to be annoying, but perhaps not that annoying. I can only hope she takes it down a notch in future episodes. I'd be OK if she disappeared altogether.

I'll keep recording episodes, but don't feel compelled to watch them in any hurry.

New on TV: Standoff

The Fox plan worked: I hung around after House to watch Standoff, a drama about a pair of hostage negotiators who are partners in more ways than one.

The leads are good - Ron Livingston and Rosemarie DeWitt actually have some chemistry together - but the supporting cast is very one-dimensional, from the hard-ass boss to the Hostage Rescue Team leader who has unblinking faith in peace through superior firepower. There's even a Chloe O'Brien knock-off, who is sadly less socially awkward. It doesn't help to have this show on after House, given how it pales in comparison.

I'm not sure how long they can keep up the main conflict in the show - the problems that arise when you're emotionally attached to someone with whom you are supposed to have an objective work relationship - and if the promos are any indication, they may be trying to get around this by blowing a lot of stuff up in future episodes. I'm also not sure if there's enough variety in hostage situations to make for compelling watching each week. But I'll probably stick around, at least for a while.

One review I read said this would be the first drama cancelled this season. Not sure it's that bad, and being on after House should help with ratings (it did last night, as Standoff won its timeslot, though it only retained about 75 percent of the House audience and wasn't up against much). There's some talk that Vanished may be the first to go, which really makes me want to get started on the four episodes I've got on my DVR.