New on TV: Ugly Betty

I wasn't planning on watching this, but the wife wanted to, and it is on before Grey's Anatomy. So we tuned in, and the best I can say is that the show has some promise.

America Ferarra does a nice job as Betty, staying just enough to the right side of the line where her clueless optimism is both funny and endearing. Vanessa Williams is appropriately over the top as a vindictive magazine exec gunning to take down Betty's boss (the mag's editor in chief). I'm also a fan of Betty's fashion-loving pre-teen nephew, just because his interest in fashion is so unusual. There's also a good recurring cameo by Salma Hayek as an actress in an actual telenovela.

The show keeps several touches that point to its beginnings as a telenovela, and for the most part balances soapiness with humor. What I didn't care for was the fairly predictable plot - the magazine needs an idea for a major cosmetics ad, and guess whose idea saves the day? - though if the show keeps going, I'd expect things to get better here. At least I hope it does, as the wife liked it and I guess we'll keep watching.

New on TV: Vanished

I finally got around to watching the first episode of this new Fox drama that combines Without a Trace and The DaVinci Code when a US Senator's wife disappears, and the last person she was with - a guy posing as a concierge - is found dead with a cryptic tattoo on his hand that was inked after he died. Spooky!

The pilot was sufficiently engrossing, though I did have a nit to pick regarding the FBI agent in charge. He's on his first big case since losing a kidnapping victim; the captor was shot by a sniper, and rather than run to him to make sure he didn't release the button that would set off the victim's explosives-laden vest, the agent runs towards the victim. With predictably firey results. That doesn't make the guy seem like the super-agent he's supposed to be.

I have a more significant issue with Rebecca Gayheart's reporter character. I assume she's supposed to be annoying, but perhaps not that annoying. I can only hope she takes it down a notch in future episodes. I'd be OK if she disappeared altogether.

I'll keep recording episodes, but don't feel compelled to watch them in any hurry.

New on TV: Standoff

The Fox plan worked: I hung around after House to watch Standoff, a drama about a pair of hostage negotiators who are partners in more ways than one.

The leads are good - Ron Livingston and Rosemarie DeWitt actually have some chemistry together - but the supporting cast is very one-dimensional, from the hard-ass boss to the Hostage Rescue Team leader who has unblinking faith in peace through superior firepower. There's even a Chloe O'Brien knock-off, who is sadly less socially awkward. It doesn't help to have this show on after House, given how it pales in comparison.

I'm not sure how long they can keep up the main conflict in the show - the problems that arise when you're emotionally attached to someone with whom you are supposed to have an objective work relationship - and if the promos are any indication, they may be trying to get around this by blowing a lot of stuff up in future episodes. I'm also not sure if there's enough variety in hostage situations to make for compelling watching each week. But I'll probably stick around, at least for a while.

One review I read said this would be the first drama cancelled this season. Not sure it's that bad, and being on after House should help with ratings (it did last night, as Standoff won its timeslot, though it only retained about 75 percent of the House audience and wasn't up against much). There's some talk that Vanished may be the first to go, which really makes me want to get started on the four episodes I've got on my DVR.

Bringing Out the Dead

Now that the entries are set and the new shows are set to begin in earnest, here's how I went for my entry into the Alison LaPlaca Open TV dead pool:

Happy Hour - It's been the virtually unanimous leader in "show most likely to get the first axe" among all the things I've read, and with its anonymous cast and very vague plot description, it seems like a sure goner. So much so that I put it in my top spot, where I'd get the most points for it being cancelled.

The Class - Probably a little risky to put it here, given how the Monday lineup on CBS can buoy an otherwise crappy show - hello, Out of Practice - but with The King of Queens returning in January, there will five shows and only four slots. What are the odds that this show, with its bizzare plot device of an elementary school class reunion, will take out How I Met Your Mother, Two and a Half Men, or The New Adventures of Old Christine?

Men in Trees - It's quirky, but I'm not so sure that quirky will work on Friday nights. And I'm not sure that many people are sold on Anne Heche.

What About Brian - Not only does this show have the longing to be cancelled The Bachelor as its lead-in, it also has to go against the most hyped show of the season, Studio 60. I can't help but think of this as Jake in Progress 2.0.

King of Queens - I'm under the impression that the show is ending this season, but wasn't able to find a lot of corroborating evidence. So I'm hedging a bit by putting it in the middle of the pack.

Justice - The way I look at it, there are enough lawyer-type shows out there that at least one has to fail. For all of the talk that Justice will give us the behind-the-scenes look at state of the art criminal defense, it has an incredibly generic title, ads, and only Victor Garber for star power. Which, in comparison to James Woods in Shark and most of the cast of Boston Legal, isn't much. And did I mention that it's up against Lost?

According to Jim - In the 2001-02 competition, two shows thwarted me by not getting cancelled. One was Reba, whose treatment by the nascent CW makes me wary. The other was According to Jim, whose continued first-run presence is a little mind-boggling. I figure the time is ripe for it to go. I'm also hoping that the combination of House, Gilmore Girls, and the family-friendly Friday Night Lights will help.

Notes From the Underbelly - I'm normally against chosing shows that will debut in mid-season, as there's no guarantee that they'll see the light of day. Given that this show was supposed to debut in the fall, I went with it as the change suggests that the show isn't good enough to start now, but is on some level considered good enough to air. Just so they don't improve the show enough to avoid cancellation.

Help Me Help You - I feel badly about going with this one, as I still give Ted Danson a bit of a free pass due to Cheers. I'm also a little leery that this will go all Becker on me and air for at least twice as long as necessary. On the other side, I take some solace from the network not feeling like the show was strong enough to start the hour.

Twenty Good Years - This rounds out my entry, and I'm not sure about choosing this at all given the odd mystical power John Lithgow's overacting seems to generate. I don't particularly think that Arrested Development fans will seek out Jeffrey Tambor, and I think the demographic for this show will work against it. But I'm still nervous.

Five of my shows (Happy Hour, The Class, Men in Trees, What About Brian and Notes from the Underbelly) were among the top 10 overall selections from all entrants. And the five shows I didn't choose that were in the top 10?

Til Death, the newlywed versus oldiewed Fox sitcom starring Brad Garrett. Fox has hyped this show tremendously, and I don't think they're going to let go too easily. But it wouldn't shock me if it got the heave-ho at the end of the season.

The Knights of Prosperity, formerly Let's Rob..., which is a sitcom built around a bunch of guys who are going to rip off Mick Jagger. It was hard to pass this show up based on premise alone, not to mention the lack of success for shows based around thievery, but I figured it was just different enough to sucker people in. I mean, if According to Jim can go six seasons, this show can go two.

Brothers and Sisters, the troubled ABC drama starring Calista Flockhart. If it were going anywhere but the post-Desperate Housewives slot, I'd think Dead Show Walking. But it may just eke out enough viewers who are waiting for their significant others to finish with Sunday Night Football.

Jericho, the CBS drama where a town tries to sort our where they stand after seeing a mushroom cloud go off in the distance. It wants to pull of a Lost vibe, but may turn out to be more like Invasion. Not sure if the time slot will help or hurt - if it can survive Dancing With the Stars it may just make the season and beyond.

Ugly Betty, the telenovela-derived ABC show backed by Salma Hayek. I'm not sure this wil work, either, but it's leading off ABC's Thursday power play. Getting to be the show before Grey's Anatomy suggests a certain amount of confidence, as does moving the show from Friday.

Oh-fer

The Emmys were handed out last Sunday, and my viewing ended when Conan O'Brien's Billy Crystalesque romp through current TV shows ended. I actually watched more day-after coverage on Inside Hollywood than actual awards show (not sure how I got stuck watching that much Inside Hollywood, either).

In any case, I went back and checked out my Emmy wish list and found that not a single choice I made actually won an award. If this were keno, I think I'd win something. Not that my choices were particularly scientific, but you'd think I'd blunder into one win.

Wasn't surprised that The Office won, but was suprised that 24 did. I do like the show, but I'm not convinced it's the best drama on TV (looking back, it was the lone nominee I didn't mention when I was talking up House). As for the major individual awards, meh. Tony Shalhoub is the new David Hyde Pierce, apparently.

Bring Out Your Dead

Please hie thyself over to the 2006-07 Alison Laplaca TV Dead Pool. Deadline is the end of the month. Which reminds me, I need to get my entry in...

Welcome to the new season

The new TV season officially kicked off last night, as Fox started Prison Break and Vanished on their 2006-07 campaigns.

Not that I watched either of them. I never got into Prison Break, and recorded Vanished. So no report on the latter show until tomorrow at least, as they've got another episode on tonight.

One new show (from the summer) that we've been watching is Property Ladder on TLC. I'm not sure how this is different from Flip This House!, having not watched that show, but I think it's the people doing the flipping, who on Property Ladder are generally not professionals.

You can imagine how that goes. In all the episodes I've seen, the people doing the work go over budget, past their deadline, and have to skimp in at least one area that they planned to change (thankfully, it's usually landscaping or outdoor improvements rather than, say, replacing rotten beams). The host is apparently a veteran flipper, and she's kind of a jerk. Her advice is usually spot-on, though, but she's a little too smug for my taste.

The episodes I've seen have all been for houses in California or Florida, so if you're looking to buy in either state, you may want to see if your house has been on the show. If it was, odd are good the plumbing was put in by the dope who flipped it and his minimally-qualified drinking buddy.

Worldwide Leader in What?

I've now had the chance to see two of the ESPN-created tournaments that they were hoping would extend the viewership brought on board by their World Series of Poker coverage.

The first involved dominos. ESPN Deportes has apparently been showing tournaments for a while, and someone in Bristol thought it was time to see if the practice would work for non-Hispanic viewers. It didn't, which isn't surprising given that the game isn't exactly a mainstay of Anglo households. There was also little time to show each player's rack and discuss strategy, which would be really helpful. About the only thing of interest was the possibility of violence between teammates when one blew a play.

Not that anyone came to blows, but they were rare shows of emotion.

Then there's the World Series of Dart, whose artifice is underscored by the lack of competition between the pros who've come over from Britain and the amateur Americans. Not that some of the Yanks aren't good, but when there's an obvious talent gap it makes for less than stellar TV. Heck, even the color guy and the on-site announcer were Brits. Still, it's a little more accessible than dominos, given that most people have, at some time in their lives, played darts.

Sadly, my favorite ESPN-created event, the Great Outdoor Games, is on hiatus for 2006. The network is giving it the once-over and plans to re-launch in 2007 with dazzling new events and such. By which I assume they mean sucking the life out of it.

And while I'm on the subject of ESPN's programming genius, word came today that Harold Reynolds got the hook from the network, and thus leaves Karl Ravech as the last sane man on Baseball Tonight. No word on why he got the gate, but if Michael Irvin could keep his job after his troubles, what did Reynolds have to do to lose his?

Update: according to the folks at Deadspin, the unofficial reason for HR's canning was sexual harrassment. Which isn't cool. But if you can get caught with blow, plea out, and still keep your job, you'd think the bar would be set much, much higher for getting fired.

This is why I don't generally care about the Emmys

So this year, new rules were put in place during the process of selecting Emmy finalists, in the hopes of making the nominations more open and less prone to the "nominee for life" status that seems to follow some actors and shows.

The result? There were some nominees that we would likely have not seen - Denis Leary for Rescue Me and Kyra Sedgewick for The Closer stand out - but for the most part, there was a sad familiarity to the acting nominees.

Part of this comes from shows taking their final bows - The West Wing, Malcolm in the Middle, Will & Grace, and Six Feet Under were all well-represented shows that have closed their doors. Stockard Channing managed a nod for her work on Out of Practice, though I think voters may have seen her name and just assumed she was up for The West Wing.

Combined with the return of The Sopranos and some new-found love for 24, the biggest losers this time around were Desperate Housewives and Lost, neither of which was tabbed for outstanding show and only generated one regular acting nomination for Alfre Woodard's directionless turn as Betty Applewhite on Housewives.

Not that either show lived up to its first-year performance/hype. But it's still pretty surprising.

Not that the news was all bad for ABC - Grey's Anatomy picked up 11 nominations. And while I keep saying I don't really care about the Emmys, I will be vexed beyond repair if Chandra Wilson doesn't win. Miranda Bailey completely kicks ass.

So who else would I give Emmys to, based on the nominees?

Supporting Actor, Drama - Gregory Itzin, 24. His Nixon for the 21st century was a fantastic melding of megalomania and insecurity.
Supporting Actor, Comedy - Will Arnett, Arrested Development. This isn't even close for me, though not watching Entourage means I can't assess Jeremy Piven's performance.
Supporting Actress, Drama - Chandra Wilson, fools!
Supporting Actress, Comedy - I can't think that Woodard's performance was the best on here - not her fault, really - so I'll go in the unexpected direction and go with Jaime Pressly on My Name is Earl.

Lead Actor, Drama - A win for Denis Leary and Rescue Me would be nice. Lead Actor, Comedy - Steve Carrell, The Office. To be fair, it's the only show for the nominees that I watch regularly.
Lead Actress, Drama - Allison Janney, The West Wing. For all my carping earlier, I still loves me some C. J. Cregg. Sorry.
Lead Actress, Comedy - Lisa Kudrow, The Comeback. Because, really, with the other choices, I'll take the HBO show I've never seen.

Outstanding Drama - House. It has no shot, between a possible send-off award for The West Wing, the buzz for Grey's Anatomy, and the return of The Sopranos, but for me House is the best of the five (though again, no HBO makes me less than an authority on The Sopranos). It's just a shame that Hugh Laurie didn't get a nod.

Outstanding Comedy - Arrested Development. Yup, I've drank the Kool-Aid. I can only hope that, if it does win, the orchestra plays "The Final Countdown" while the cast ambles to the stage.

The Long Hot Summer

Even with the great increase in first-run summer TV programming, I find that I'm sticking to some familiar shows rather than trying the new (such as NBC's much advertised Windfall) or getting into returning shows like Rescue Me or The Closer. Rather, we've been focusing on similar troika as last summer:

* Last Comic Standing, which I care even less about now than I did during their ill-advised third season (which pitted finalists from the previous two seasons against each other). Out of the 12 finalists picked by a judging panel of Garry Marshall, Tim Meadows, and the rebarbative Kathy Griffin, I think I agreed with 3 of their selections.

It didn't help that they went from 40 semifinalists to 12 finalists in just two shows, showing 20 comics an episode. Even with the short interview segments, I can't say I built much interest in any of the finalists, even the ones I liked.

* The Gordon Ramsay double-dip of Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares on BBC America and Hell's Kitchen on Fox. I sincerely hope there are more than the four episodes shown in the first run of the former show, as it's much more entertaining than the "reality" of Hell's Kitchen. Though that's entertaining enough, even if this year's crop of wannabes isn't quite as interesting as last summer's group.

* So You Think You Can Dance?, which is collateral damage from the wife's viewing. I've taken a NASCAR approach and watched mainly for the dancers who screwed up, which will be sadly reduced now that they've set their final 20. More time on the computer for me.

I've also taken in some of The History Channel's The Revolution, which is OK (it'd be better if it incorporated more graphics, like Battlefield Britain, and less of the re-enactment with voice-over that's the mainstay of History Channel shows). Otherwise, it's been World Cup, the Tour de France, and random catching up with DVR stuff (where I learned that I had seen the pilot for How I Met Your Mother and that The Apprentice finales are getting worse, which I may discuss in more detail if I can get motivated to do so this long after the fact).

Rating Next Season

So I went to give an ordinal ranking for each of the networks for their upfronts, and came to discover that I couldn't name a number one.

There were a couple that stood out as not winning. NBC would have come in last given how they changed everything around scant weeks after their original presentation. Fox was also on my lower end, as I wasn't keen on their new shows and they apparently had the worst presentation ever (as reported by Aaron Barnhart over at TV Barn).

I had the CW in the middle, given that they're only premiering one new show, and it seems like a decent fit. Putting Everybody Hates Chris on at 7 and sticking a re-run of America's Next Top Model at 9 is a cop-out, though (thanks to King of LaPlaca James Dinan for pointing that out).

For all the mocking, I do have ABC as one of the better upfronts given that they seem to have the more interesting new shows. It's just that there are so many other, less interesting ones in their new lineup as well. CBS gets lumped in here, too, as they've put together a good new night on Sunday and have some interesting new show ideas, even if they aren't particularly original. I don't know if a mushroom cloud or James Woods will differentiate Jericho or Shark from Lost or any of the lawyer shows, but they've at least got a hook.

NBC 2006/07 Schedule - It's New to You!

I was slowly working towards a recap of all the upfronts, but then NBC had to go and blow up its 2006/07 schedule. King of LaPlaca James Dinan gives a pretty good synopsis, but I wanted to take a night-by-night look at the revamp.

Sunday stays the same.

Monday sees Medium get pushed off to midseason so the Peacock can start things off with Deal or No Deal, Heroes, and Studio 60. And while Monday at 10 is an easier set of shows to go against than Thursday at 9 (What About Brian? and CSI:Miami versus CSI and Grey's Anatomy), Studio 60 I can't help but think that having a game show and another new drama as your lead-ins isn't going to bode well. Then again, with the other airing of Deal or No Deal moving into Studio 60's Thursday at 9 slot, this may be the only night it gets any viewers.

Tuesday opens as planned with Friday Night Lights but then double-dips L&O with Criminal Intent and SVU back-to-back. That's a lot of the criminal justice system in one night, and forces a choice between D'Onofrio/Noth and Laurie at 9 pm. That's not fair.

Wednesday swaps the sitcoms and The Biggest Loser, letting the weight loss show take the brunt against Lost and Criminal Minds. Kidnapped moves into the 10 pm slot, and might do OK there if anyone is around to watch.

Thursday only has that Studio 60 for Deal or No Deal. I just get the sense that this is going to be a painful night for NBC regardless.

Friday sees the early return of Crossing Jordan, followed by Las Vegas and L&O: Original Recipie. That might actually do OK versus the CBS shows, though it does feel like L&O is getting the brush-off.

Saturday, really, who cares. NBC isn't trying, and neither is anyone else.

There's a deck chairs on the Titanic feel to all this moving. Sure, Studio 60 gets a better time slot, but given that the other networks have stronger shows in the two hours prior to it, the move doesn't exactly guarantee success. The rest of the moves don't do much for me either way, although it does seem like NBC is cedeing the middle of the week a bit. I'm all for counter-programming, but you still need to offer something reasonably compelling. Just throwing something different up there isn't the best way to find success.

Upfronts: The CW

So what did the merger of The WB and UPN bring? Mostly what people had speculated on for the last couple of months, but some surprises as well. Rather than try to list shows that were canned, moved, and added, I'll do this recap night by night. It's easier that way.

SUNDAY presents a sitcom block that shows that UPN is gone but not forgotten. Everybody Hates Chris leads off the night, while All of Us, Girlfriends,and The Game rounds things out. The Game is a sitcom about the wives of NFL players, though it being a sitcom means it'll be no Footballer's Wives. Interestingly, it stars Tia Mowry, but not Tamara.

A rerun of America's Next Top Model caps the night.

UPN's "urban comedy" strategy lives on, and may even succeed now that some of the lesser lights have been dimmed.

MONDAY brings a pretty big surprise - the return of 7th Heaven, which aired its series finale this season. Having this established show around will certainly help. It's paired with Runaway, which stars Donnie Wahlberg and Leslie Hope as parents of a family that's on the run until Wahlberg can prove he didn't kill a co-worker. This comes to us from Darren Star, unusual given that his shows are usually sudsier.

TUESDAY gives us a pairing that was talked about quite a bit when the merger was announced - Gilmore Girls and Veronica Mars, which avoided the axe again. I could think of worse things than Lauren Graham and Kristin Bell back-to-back. How this will actually work will be something to see.

WEDNESDAY could be the most vacuous night on TV next season, as the lead hour will be shared by America's Next Top Model and Beauty and the Geek. There's some crossover potential right there. The second hour is taken by One Tree Hill, about which I only know that it stars pretty young people.

THURSDAY brings back Smallville and Supernatural, which were paired on the WB this season with good results.

FRIDAY brings WWE Smackdown! over from UPN. SATURDAY has no network programming, which is probably just as well given the anemic attempts by the other networks to program it. Might as well throw the affiliates a bone.

The other surprise was news that Reba got a last-second reprieve, although it doesn't appear on the schedule. Not sure where it would go at this point, though Monday after 7th Heaven makes sense. They also announced a mid-season show called Hidden Palms about a kid whose family moves to Palm Springs after his father commits suicide. After living there a year, they begin to learn that there are secrets, you don't really know your neighbors, etc. I'm guessing Kevin Williamson is tweaking some Sex, Love & Secrets scripts for this one.

Upfronts: FOX

While it's a little less confusing than last year, the FOX schedule for 2007-08 is again broken down into fall 2006 and spring 2007 components thanks to baseball and Rupert Murdoch's evilosity. It's not as bad as it sounds.

GONE - To the surprise of absolutely no one, Arrested Development was formally axed. It was also the official end of the road for Bernie Mac, Stacked, Free Ride, and Kitchen Confidential.

MOVED - American Dad and The War at Home swapped time slots. Woo hoo. Nanny 911 goes to Friday, keeping the time slot warm for Bones, which will move there from its Wednesday time slot in January 2007. A couple of the new shows will also move in January, but I'll get to those... now.

And if you see the schedule and can't find your favorite show, don't freak. American Idol, 24, King of the Hill, and The Loop are all back in January.

NEW - Your new offerings:

Vanished - the wife of a US Senator from Georgia goes missing, and in trying to find her a variety of conspiracies and mysteries are encountered, building a web of intrigue that will be familiar to Monday night viewers of Prison Break and/or 24, whose spot Vanished will take for the fall. Monday night, high-concept conspiracy drama and FOX all seem to go together, so I'm not going to bet against this one.

Standoff - A pair of FBI hostage negotiators become involved, and when it becomes common knowledge it changes the way they work and the cases they are assigned. Ron Livingston plays one of the negotiators. It'll be on Tuesdays at 8 in the fall and move to Monday at 8 for 2007. The description is pretty blah, and I don't know how well it will work on Monday unless it turns out one of them is also dating the President as a cover for overthrowing the government.

Speaking of blah descriptions, Justice follows a group of lawyers who handle controversial, high-profile cases. Stars Victor Garber, who will have to do something to keep this from getting lost in the sea of all the other lawyer-based dramas out there. It'll air Wednesdays, moving from 9 to 8 in 2007, though I wonder if Bones will find itself back there before all is said and done.

Thursday throws two new sitcoms at us. 'Til Death is about an idealistic newlywed couple that moves next door to longer-married - and thus cyncial - couple. Brad Garrett and Joely Fisher star (as the older couple, I assume) in this show that, to my eye, is Everybody Loves Raymond with a tweak of relationships.

The other show, Happy Hour, is about two guys - one blinded by love, the other damaged by it. The only thing that makes this stand out is that it's set in Chicago. I've not heard of any of the cast. Adios.

The only announced show to debut in January 2007 is The Wedding Album, which follows wedding photgrapher and his assistant as every week they shoot a new wedding and, I have to assume, encounter a variety of problems, issues, etc. Two surprises in the cast - Connie Stevens and America's Next Top Model cycle 3 winner Eva Pigford. So much for modeling.

This will air after Bones in the projected line-up, which is odd. They don't seem particularly compatible.

New at mid-season will be the sitcom Winner, where Lenny Clarke plays a 40something guy musing on his neurotic past circa-1994. I'll stake a claim here that this will replace Happy Hour. They could then move this and 'Til Death to Friday and lead in for The Wedding Album. Bones would go back to Wednesday, and the Thursday hole can be filled by On the Lot, an unscripted show from Mark Burnett and Steven Spielberg which calls to mind Project Greenlight.

The other new unscripted show is Duets, a singing competition for pairs that will fill spots in the fall as baseball dictates.

Overall, I'm actually a little disappointed in this slate of new shows. Usually FOX has at least one show in the bag that makes you stop and think - either in wonder or incredulity. Vanished might have been that show - in 2003. None of the shows would look out of place on any other network's schedule, which is either a sign of FOX's maturation or a new-found timidity. This doesn't mean that these shows won't turn out well, just that they won't be all that unique.

Upfronts: CBS

Not surprisingly for the most-watched network, there are very few changes in store for next season. It's good to be the king.

GONE - It was a tough year for sitcoms, as Yes, Dear, Still Standing, Courting Alex, and Out of Practice all got cut. Previous drama cancellations Threshold and Love Monkey were also officially put to rest.

MOVED - The most notably changed night is Sunday as CBS will put forward an 8-11 block of The Amazing Race, Cold Case, and Without a Trace. This has potential to take some steam out of ABC.

How I Met Your Mother will lead off Monday at 8, which seems a little early (though I assume it'll move to 9 for 2007-08).

While it's not a move, it was interesting that New Adventures of Old Christine and The Unit made the new schedule. Maybe mid-season really is TV's second-best season.

NEW - Three dramas and one sitcom will debut in the fall:

The Class is the sitcom, about a group of twentysomethings who haven't seen each other since third grade and are reuinited at a suprise party. Meh.

Smith, a drama about a gang of high-stakes thieves, will close Tuesday nights. Cast includes Ray Liotta and Virginia Madsen. Not sure if this will succeed where Heist did not.

Jericho is the new show Wednesday at 10 pm. A mysterious mushroom appears in a Kansas town (Jericho), and the townspeople fear the apocalypse as they lose contact with the outside world. Fungus is the new aquatic alien, apparently. If you ever wondered what happened to Gerald McRaney and Skeet Ulrich, wonder no more! They'll be here - but for long?

Shark moves into Without a Trace's Thursday spot. It stars James Woods as a high-profile Hollywood defense attorney who switches sides to lead a group of inexperienced prosecutors. Jeri Ryan co-stars, so the Trek crowd may help with ratings. Though I don't think we'll see her in spandex. At least until sweeps.

I'm actually more interested in the two mid-season dramas - Three Pounds, about a brain surgeon who is losing function in his own brain, and Waterfront, starring Joe Pantoliano as the mayor of Providence, Rhode Island who is trying to clean up his crooked ways. You know Buddy Cianci is getting paid for this.

Overall, I'm guessing CBS stays on top. The only day I'd be worried about is Tuesday, but I think they'll be able to keep it together one way or another.

Upfronts: ABC

It's worse than I thought: ABC will spring 15 new shows on us next season, with some sort of change every night of the week.

GONE - It might be easier to list the shows that didn't get canned. Notables here include Monday Night Football, Commander in Chief, Less than Perfect, Invasion, and Primetime Live (somewhat surprisingly, though I assume it could return to fill holes).

MOVED - Grey's Anatomy to Thursday at 9 is the biggie. I can't even begin to predict how this will play out, between CSI, NBC's Studio 60 and the CW's Supernatural, which is expected to land here as well. I tend to think Grey's Anatomy will do OK on its own - it's turned out to be better than the increasingly cartoonish Desperate Housewives - but it's a crowded night.

What About Brian survived the cut (shades of Jake in Progress?) and will team up with Supernanny, Wife Swap, and for reasons unknown to science, The Bachelor to make up for the loss of testosterone on Monday.

Dancing With the Stars will lead off Tuesday and Wednesday nights, while George Lopez and According to Jim will move together to lead off Wednesdays after the dancing ends. That's a hell of a way to repay J. J. Abrams.

NEW - Speaking of Abrams, he'll have a new show on Thursday at 10. Six Degrees follows six New Yorkers who are brought together again after an initial meeting. The reunion is under strange circumstances (of course), and they become friends. Cast includes Hope Davis, Bridget Moynihan, and Campbell Scott. This whill hopefully move a little faster than Lost while retaining its mystery.

Speaking of Lost, it will lead out to The Nine, a show about people who experience a "twist of faith" related to being held hostage during a failed bank robbery. Lots of familiar faces here - Chi McBride, Timothy Daly, and Scott Wolf.

OK, I'll never get through all of these at this rate. The shorter version:

Brothers & Sisters should not be confused with Sons & Daughters, though I can't keep them straight. Calista Flockhart headlines this drama about a family dealing with the loss of its matriarch. It gets to follow Desperate Housewives, which suggests it'll be around for at least a whole season.

Let's Rob... is a sitcom based around a guy (Donal Logue) who plans a heist to get money so he can open a bar. Mick Jagger is guesting in the pilot, which is about the best thing I can say about it at this point. It runs Tuesday at 9, and is followed by Help Me Help You, marking Ted Danson's re-return to sitcoms. It sounds like Dear John, but from the shrink's point of view.

Thursday 8-9 is the home of Big Day - a show about planning a wedding starring Wendie Malick and Marla Sokoloff. It is followed by Notes from the Underbelly, wherein a woman who doesn't want kids becomes pregnant - and she and her husband decided to keep that fact hidden from their friends. Expect the secret to get out one way or another around February sweeps - assuming the show makes it that long (ditto for its lineup-mate).

Betty the Ugly kicks off Friday - it's a show about a woman hired as an assistant to a guy based on the idea that she's unattractive enough that he won't hit on her. I'm sure that sounded better when it was pitched. It is followed at 9 by Men in Trees, which stars Anne Heche as a relationship coach who decides to stay in Alaska when she's snowed in after finding out her fiance cheated on her. So I take it I'm not supposed to thank God it's Friday anymore?

There's a whole slew of midseason shows, too, most of which haven't been positioned yet (though you can guess where they might go - hello Friday!). They include:

Daybreak, starring Taye Diggs as a policeman who has to prove that he did not shoot the state's attorney.

Traveler, about two guys who pull off some sort of rollerblading stunt in a NYC museum and are arrested as terrorists when the museum is bombed shortly thereafter. If that makes sense to you, you can be an ABC programming exec. Stephen Culp makes us all wish he was still playing Rex van de Camp by appearing in this.

In Case of Emergency, where friends from high school are reuinited - in the ER. Lots of recognizable names here - Lori Loughlin, David Arquette, Kelly Hu, Jonathon Silverman. That may cut both ways.

There are also three unscripted replacements, of which I'll specifically mention Set For the Rest of Your Life, where a couple plays to win regular checks for life... but at what amount? This will replace Dancing With the Stars on Tuesdays when that show ends, thus effectively stranding Boston Legal.

Do you get the feeling ABC will be trotting out 15 new shows for 2007-08? OK, it's not all that bad - Six Degrees, The Nine, and Brothers & Sisters all have a chance, thanks to some good time-slotting. The Tuesday night comedies may prove durable, as both Logue and Danson kept Grounded for Life and Becker going longer than anyone expected.

But there's still a lot of suck, much of it at the start of hours. That doesn't help the later shows at all. Friday is pretty much a lost cause, and Monday is uninspiring.

All in all, a more interesting schedule than what NBC presented yesterday, but with more risk.

Upfronts: ABC (Prologue)

Apparently, the people at ABC hate us. They'll be premiering 12 new shows in the fall (and have at least three more on tap for later in the year), and none of them will be replacing According to Jim. The horror.

I've only seen the press release on this, so I'll have a fuller post later. The big news is that Grey's Anatomy is moving to Thursday at 9, putting a shot across the bow of CBS.

A fuller report is coming.

Upfronts - NBC

It's that time of year again - the networks present their 2006/07 lineups in the hopes of generating good buzz and ad sales. NBC led off with a presentation this morning.

GONE - You knew that The West Wing and Will & Grace were done, but joining them will be several other shows, with no big surprises: Joey, Inconceivable, Surface, Conviction, Teachers, Heist, The Book of Daniel, Most Outrageous Moments, E-Ring, and Three Wishes.

MOVING - My Name is Earl and The Office will move up to the lead hour on Thursday while Law & Order: Criminal Intent moves to Friday at 10 pm. Scrubs, Crossing Jordan, and The Apprentice will all return at mid-season (Trump will highlight NBC's Sunday coverage after NFL coverage ends, meaning we only get one dose a year, thankfully).

NEW - Seven new shows on tap. They are:

Heroes - ordinary people learn that they've developed superpowers. It stars Adrian Pasdar, Milo Ventimiglia, and a host of people I've never heard of. It airs Monday at 9, and might work well with Medium. Deal or No Deal starts the night (and will only be on twice a week, nice restraint NBC).

Friday Night Lights - based on the book and/or movie, it's about a central Texas town and the high school football team it loves a little too much. Kyle Chandler plays the head coach. Let's hope this stays closer to the source material and doesn't veer into Varsity Blues territory.

That will air Tuesday at 8, and will be followed by Kidnapped, which is not based on the Stevenson novel. Rather, it follows a kidnapping case from start to finish. Cast includes Dana Delany, Timothy Hutton, Jeremy Sisto, Delroy Lindo, and Mykelti Williamson. Think Murder One meets Without a Trace.

Wednesday gives us a new sitcom block with 20 Good Years and 30 Rock. NBC goes back to the well with John Lithgow in 20 Good Years as he and Jeffrey Tambor star as two guys who figure they only have "20 good years" left and plan to live life accordingly. I assume part of that plan is egregious over-acting.

30 Rock stars Tina Fey as the head writer of a sketch comedy show who has to deal with a tempermental star and difficult executive producer. Similarities to SNL or Kilborn-era Daily Show are likely intentional.

Personally, I think this show might go better with The Office and 20 Good Years could pair up with My Name is Earl for some life-changing fun. We'll see.

The SNL appropriation continues on Thursday with Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, a drama about life behind the scenes of a sketch comedy show. The cast is chock full of familiar faces: Matthew Perry, D. L. Huglhey, Amanda Peet, Steven Weber, and Brad Whitford among them. The real question: with a sitcom and a drama about sketch comedy on tap, will people be burned out before getting to watch NBC's actual sketch comedy show?

ER continues in its Thursday at 10 slot (it was rumored to be moving), but will be replaced at mid-season by The Black Donnellys, a drama about four brothers and their deepening involvement with organized crime. Paul Haggis is involved, so hopefully this will be more like EZ Streets and less like the crap he did earlier in his career. ER will return late in the season.

The two other new shows will show up on Sunday once football is over. Preceding Trump will be America's Got Talent, a variety show competition set in Las Vegas that will find the country's best singer or dancer or juggler or something. I smell a Shields and Yarnell comeback!

Post-Trump we have Raines, which is sadly not about Audrey or her dead husband from 24. Instead, Jeff Goldblum goes all Ghost Whisperer on us and partners up with a murder victim to find the killer. Luis Guzman is involved, and while he's very funny, the TV shows he appears on tend to get canned. I'm going to bet on that here, too.

Oh, almost forgot The Singles Table, which will show up at midseason to help fill holes. It's about a bunch of singles who are put at the same table at a wedding. They become friends, yadda yadda yadda, and then the show gets cancelled.

From my limited vantage point, the only shows that really pique my interest are the SNL-derived ones. And even then, I don't think I'd be interested in more than one of them.

Not Surprising, Surprising, Most Surprising

Not Surprising - Sara getting the boot on America's Next Top Model. We knew she was toast when Nigel actually said Jade looked like a model. Pair that with Sara's continued awkwardness and it wasn't that much of a stretch.

(As an aside, Tyra made more comments about Danielle's accent, and next week the girls film a Cover Girl spot. Perfect set-up to engineer a Joanie-Jade final. Bastards. I'm still not sure how they expect Danielle to change how she's talked her whole life in the space of a few weeks. Clearly, there aren't any linguists or speech therapists on the judging panel.)

Surprising - Chris Daughtry getting the boot on American Idol. Considering I had him going out sixth this shouldn't have been that surprising, but after Katherine McPhee forgot some lyrics the night before, I think everyone (including her) thought she was going home.

This is probably a winning by losing scenario, as Chris is probably more suited to fronting a band than going solo. Especially with the twaddle the winner usually has to record.

The McPhee-Hicks final is still possible, though if it comes to pass I think it'll be a coronotation for the twitchiest Idol yet.

Most Surprising - the DVR didn't tape the last minute or so of Lost (thanks, Comcast!), so I didn't get to see if Libby ratted out Michael or not. I've been brought up to speed, though I'm sure it'll get shown in the previouslies next week.

Meanwhile, on The Apprentice

I've been pretty happy with this season of The Donald's "interview" for a new apprentice. I'm not thrilled with the number of marketing-related tasks (perfect for product placement, but boring), but there does seem to be a return to more moments in the suite, which is good to see the contestants outside of tasks and boardroom. The rewards are still pretty useless to see; I don't think I needed to watch a song get written by committee for Burt Bacharach, who is probably still trying to sort out how he got roped into doing it.

The firings have been pretty satisfying, especially the one for dictator-in-training Andrea. I suppose there's the positive that Andrea knew she was a bossy boots, but on the other hand her constant passive-agressive approach to things and her "surprise" whenever someone said something negative about her were pathetic. I'm sure if she read this she'd comfort herself by noting that her net worth is higher than mine. She seemed to find comfort in that at times.

Next week we have a reshuffling that gets the teams back to men versus women. Based on past experience, the task will be something "manly" - selling power tools or beer or something - that they'll screw up in amazing fashion.

I should also take this opportunity to note that the use of Ivanka and Donald Jr. as assistants rather than George, Bill, or Carolyn has actually gone pretty well. We've only seen Jr. once, and Ivanka two or three times, but they fit in pretty well. Neither are as acerbic or witty as George and Carolyn, but they can hold their own. It was also kind of cute to see them interact with their dad after Andrea's firing. Just another loving family cutting loose dead weight.